Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Jersey Shore Pauly D Reveals Hair Secrets

Pauly D from that piece of art of a show called Jersey Shore demonstrates how he gets that doo on.

He uses some serious products.  One called "Spika" which is a serious "Molda" and "Shapa".   I could listen to this guy read the phone book.



Fugggeetttaaaabouttttiiittttt

Friday, December 25, 2009

Real Housewives of Late Night Final Episode # 7

This is really sad peeps.. This is the final installment of the Real Housewives of Late Night and I am already missing the goils. 

I will miss Denise for all her controlling ways and mean right hook.  She effin cracks me up!

I will miss Lydia for her reminder to me to quit smoking with her ever present cig hanging off her fingers close to her mouth and raspy voice.  She is so baadddd!!!!

I will miss Dale for all her self righteous ways.  I think she came from the same womb as Elizabeth Hasselback.

I will so miss Evonne for her always stuffing her face while talking and making me want to reach into the screen to stab her with a fork to her throat. 

Please lets hope for a reunion show hosted by Andy Cohen from Bravo who hosts all other reunion Bravo specials.  No one can host it like he can..  MOZEL!!!!



For peeps who have not seen the earlier episodes.. go to This Previous Post to view them all.

Jersey Shore The Real Situation.

Who would of known that the Fist Pumping peeps of the Jersey Shore were acting from a script and are not who they seem?  The situation here is not necessarily Mr Situation's personna and I think he looks more delicious to me.  Crap.. I have been drinking too much Jersey wine and I think I have too much Gel in my hair..  Oh I digress..

Below is  a video someone made who has hung out at the Jersey Shore too much observing the Fist Pumping dudes and decided to recreate his vision.  This is an oldie but a goody by I swear.. once I saw the first episode of JS this video no longer looks like a spoof but the real thing...




Below is the video showing the REAL JS peeps talking about Mr. Situations situation.  Who knew Pauly had an English accent? 

If you you didnt see the JS peeps on Celebrity Jeopardy with Jay Leno.. check it out here to laugh your ass off. 



Monday, December 21, 2009

Brittney Murphy Rest In Peace

This woman is such the epitome of elegance and beauty.. Rest In Peace Woman. I found you too adorable in Clueless as a quirky young girl and a beauty in your later movies with style and class.



Sunday, December 20, 2009

Happy Nickmas You Turds!!!



Saturday, December 19, 2009

Acoustic Version of Bad Romance by Lucas Silviera

Ok I KNOW I KNOW!!   I am obsessed  with Lady Gaga's Bad Romance!  I was first obsessed with Poker Face, then Papparazzi, then Just Dance.. Every Time I thought she can't top herself.. she certainly does!  I think Miss Gaga has like 70 gabillion hits on the Bad Romance Video and I think half of them are from me. 

I love her costumes, her choreography, her voice, the way she moves, etc.  I wonder how she keeps all those crazy cool clothing and video concepts coming.  I just envision her surrounded by a bunch faboosh gays with all the creativity one could muster who are realizing her concepts in her lyrics.  I dont think any straight man or woman could pull that off with all that faboooosh style and moves.

Ok, the reason I am posting.. Lucas Silveria from The Clicks did a great cover on Bad Romance in a really jazzy sultry way that I just had to share with peeps!



Faboosh or what?

Baby Smiley is Back!! A Chola Christmas!!

I have so missed this woman!!  She is the gift that keeps on giving and I cant get enough of her sour puss and eyebrows!!  I need to run a contest and do a give away of her new CD.  Her music will create happy and fond memories for  years to come..



What a lovely woman..

Now, for peeps who need some help with creating your Santa Baby.. We have a new tutorial!!!  Woohooooo!



I'm just saying..

Jersey Shore Peeps on Leno's Celebrity Jeopardy

Ok I Die.. seriously..  If you have been watching or reading about the show "Jersey Shore" peeps and all their Guido Glamour.. you might enjoy this clip.

Disclaimer:  They call themselves Guides and Guidettes so I am not making this up or calling names!!  They are loud and proud of their heritage and new definition of a Guido!!  peeps need to get on board with these peeps since they are revolutionary and ground breaking in breaking stereo types with a fist pump or a Bumpette in your hair!!!

I am so amazed how orange they are while sporting lots of gel in the hair and the only claim to fame for some is an fugly face with ripped abs.  GOD!!  I love this show.. it gives me so much material and I love to hate on the "Bennies" (thats Joisey talk) who infiltrate our beaches and pretend that they own the place. 

Ok Ok.. I digress.  Here is the clip from Leno which gives me hope in knowing the education system for these peeps is working!!  Or working well into making sure once their tans wear off and their muscles turn into fat..  they will be the waiting tables at the Jersey Shore serving Pizza to the next generation of Guides/Guidettes..  I can see The Situation now...  "dang... them were da days and aint them grand??  All that fist pumping and sleeping with sleezy drunk ho's in the hot tub where I left my sperm last night was da bomb!!!!"

Sigh..



I'm just saying,,

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Major Lazer "Keep it Going Louder"

Okay.. the only reason I am posting this video is because its the coolest video with really cool video vixens!! I recognize a few of my blogga friends on the video and hope you get some corrective surgery to replace your eyes.. I kid you not Penny!!!



Major Lazer "Keep it Going Louder" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

Peanut Butter The Face Painter

Effing Cool!! This wacky looking dude has some serious skills!! He is a face/body painter/artist who has performing this skill for like 20 years I think. He takes on Martha.. our queen of all things cooking/crafts and he demonstrates some very quick like face decorations. Now there are 2 sweet young girls awaiting to be adorned but I can only think they are terrified by this guys appearance and afeared they will look like clowns or hookus!!!! I can only imagine you can get some great tips for holidays/Halloween face decorating for peeps who are crafty. I used to be one of those peeps when the kids where young.. but now I just dont give a shit anymore..

Ch Ch Check it out!



An Unlikely Friendship Between an Orangutan and A Hound Dog

Ok, Its Long over due for some AWE factor. What else can make you go AWEEEE like two unlikely animals finding true friendship. I sorta relate with the wondering hound dog and need someone like the Orangutan to take care of me. Yeah Yeah.. I know thats pathetic.. but I am getting to old to take care of all the turds in my home and I want to move to an undisclosed island with no cell phone service. I would live in a bathing suit and sip umbrella drinks on the beach all day with no one to nag me. Sigh... thats sounds so beautiful I could cry.

Check out this video that seems to simulate real life. Life is like an a bunch of wild animals, you never know if your gonna get bit or licked..



Bad Romance Parody

This is hysterical. This is Sherry Vine singing Lady Gaga's tune as Lady Caca who has to go!!! This is pretty good video.. and LMAOOO

If you dont like "Toilet" humour... please slide on down the web page and the Real Housewives of Late Night!!



I'm just saying...

P.S.. Here is the real video of Lady Caca.. oops I mean Gaga singing Bad Romance. I really love this song and anything she sings really. Her videos are also amazing and I think she has totally changed the music industry and truly raised her legs.. oops.. I mean the bar.



Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Real Housewives of Late Night

Oh my effing lawd - The Real Housewives of Late Night made a guest appearance on Today with Hoda and Kathie Lee. Watch, ya ding dong. I tink I am personally attracted to Lydia. She is a chain smoka afta me own heart.

I have embedded all da episodes below. Start from the bottom if you havent seen them all. December 23rd is the season finally and I will post that as well.

LYDIA IS MY HERO!!!

Episode 6: "What A Difference 'Today' Makes



Episode 5: "Giving Thanks"



Episode 4: "The Renovation"



Episode 3: "Let's Get Physical"



Episode 2, Part 1: "Surprise!"



Episode 2, Part 2: "Surprise!"



Episode 1: "Thick As Thieves"



Intro to the show..



Friggin Effin Amahzing!!

Stephen Colbert Raps With Alicia Keys!

This video of Stephen is Fan Freakin Tastic!!! (Thanks to Mibit for her heads up)

I am in awe of this dude and want to be his wife. I am hoping he has other talents as well I can explore will he raps to me. I want to be in his rap video as a Rap Video Vixen!! I will sleep with him to get the gig and maybe Alicia too!

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorU.S. Speedskating


AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT???


Ok here is another clip of my future husband rapping.. ch ch check it out..

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorU.S. Speedskating


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Real Housewives of Late Night



Need I say more?

I'm just saying..

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Judge Judy Prank Calls!

OMG.. This is TFF. Some genius has captured all the Judge Judy-ism's and made a sound board. Then some other genius decided to prank some poor soul with all communication from Judge Judy herself! The response from this turd on the receiving end of the line is fantastic and I have fantasies of making prank calls to my kids to either make them shape up or ship out!!!

I wish there was a wave file for:

"clean your room you rotten bastard!" or
"get your own place you freeloading couch potato!!" or wait even better..
"go shave your ass cause you got roots growing by sitting infront of the video game all day!!"

Yeah.. that might work..



To make your own Judge Judy calls, use this handy utility.

I'm just saying..

Chubby Bunny Game

This new post is by our favorite Chola makeup artist Baby Smiley! She has shared with us this new game you can easily play with your friends and family. I know I know.. I am immature! But I cant help myself!!!!

This whole thing is totally LOL's and I dare you to watch this without not having a wee tinkle in your panties!!! Okay Okay.. only if you are menopausal will you soak your panties.

Disclaimer: If you do this at home, make sure atleast one person knows how to perform the Heimlich Manuever for safety sake! Oh, and make sure that person is not a perve who will feel up the big booby ladies.. I would rather choke to death than go through that again..





I'm Just saying...

Sanda Bullock Got The Chola Makeover!!



Sandra was on the George Lopez show and was surprised with a makeover by the Chola makeup artist herself!!!! BABY SMILEY!!! Below she provides a fantastic tutorial on creating the total bitch eye brows!!

Hmmm... I need to create this look so my kids can take me more seriously.

I KNOW!!! in the attic I could find a old flannel shirt left over from my broke ass ex husband. I planned on having a bon fire with his old clothes but I forgot. uhh.. I fired the attic boy, handyman, bitch, who... was my ex husband!!!



I'm just saying..

Oprah's 25 Years of Screaming Peeps Names



Touche'



A very inventive protester to the turdtester gave me a chuckle..

I'm just saying...

Friday, November 20, 2009

I Got Into A Fight At A Hockey Game

Lord Have Mercy!!! Don't mess wit me stick!!!

(you can see me with the pony tail protecting me man! lmaooo



Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Speidi Go At It With The Insider!!

Holy crap!!! This was a knock-em down fight in this studio where they got alot of punches in to Speidi and you can clearly see that Pratt does not give a crap!! He is the King of Mean and it shows!!! LUVS IT!!!




Saturday, November 14, 2009

Prank Wars - Sky Diving



Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Christopher Walken Does Poker Face

Who doesn't love Christafa Walkin?? Especially doing Lady Gaga's Poker Face?
Again, Walkin does not disappoint. AT ALL!!!





He's the bomb!! I'm just saying....

Going To Florida To See These Babe's!!!

Hello Peeps!! No sooner am I back from St Martin, I am now heading off to see my Gbabies in Flordia! I will still be around but maybe not posting as much...

See ya on the flip side!!




Sunday, November 1, 2009

Thought Of The Day..

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Have you ever wondered if the bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack?

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If not, you're wondering now. Have a nice day ..






So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money

That's my public service announcement for the day. Thank you very much!

Thanks to my online friend Lorie


Sunburned and Peeling Skin

My Sun Burn is alive and well still, and now peeling! I look like a friggin albino snake shedding its skin and my grandson has found a new obsession, peeling grandma's back.



I was upstairs in bed yesterday reading my book and I told Mr Man, Honey, you wouldnt believe it, but Patrick found a new obsession, he has been peeling my back all morning... The Mr Man being the germ phobe that he is, asked me quickly..

"Uh.. where did he put it all"?

My eyes bugged out and said.. "Uh.. he put it in a tissue" and I started to slowly brush off the sheets and hoped he wasnt looking.

He then asked me what the peeling was all about.. I was like.. You never saw a person's skin peel before from sunburn? He totally freaked out and proceeded to tell me how disgusting it was and guess what? He started to peel my skin and got fascinated with the size of the peels and showed me each one. LMAOOOOOO

Well once he was done, can you guess what he did? Reached over and got the hand sanitizer and cleaned his hands. Lord have mercy.. We swap spit and other body fluids but he is worried about dead skin?

Well, I guess it could be worse and look like the following peeps:



I'm just saying...

Kathy Griffin Official Book Club Selection

Ima Just Saying Book Club Selection Of The Week!



Ok Peeps.. I have not been blogging this weekend cause I am totally engrossed in this book! If you are a fan of Kathy, Irish Catholic family life or celebrity news.. This is a fantastic read. Her writing style is as amazing as her stand up work.

All the info you wanted to know about her life. It is actually interesting to read about how she was so determined to be a star at a young age and gossiping and how many years she had paying her dues. It turns out her parents being on the show was not a gimmick but she has been touting them around from day 1. She is very candid and honest and you MUST MUST get this book!

If I couldnt love her enough before.. I triple love her now.

Im Just saying..

Update: Ok .. Now that I finished this book.. I think they should make this into a movie.. All the celebrity's should do a cameo and I think this would be like a Howard Stern movie. Totally unexpected and totally hilarious. This book is not what you think. It's not full of fluff but
all true stories that were unexpectantly funny and things you didnt know!

Halloween pics at home








Had to share a few pics of my grandson and his parents on Halloween. My grandson Patrick's momma had went to an adult party on Friday night and her and my son had dressed as a couple. He was Hercules and Debbie was a greek goddess!! My grandson was Sparticus!!!

Well needless to say.. they had a great time at their party and she dressed again to take Patrick Trick or Treating and in the daytime, she looked like a lady of the evening.. I put a red lightbulb in my front porch lamp.

I'm just saying...

Oh My.. My Grandson as Tinkerbell

My daughter could get not her wee LoLo into her Halloween costume yesterday and became exasperated with her. She went into the kitchen to futz around trying not to get kids angry on a fun day.

Her husband had a great idea since both their wee babies are very competitive and decided to dress his son, my grandson Billy in LoLo's costume thinking she would now get dressed and mommy would be pleased.

Well below is the result and I am sure I will hold onto this pic forever until he dates.




I showed this pic to Mr Man for a laugh and he stared hard at it. He kept staring and I waiting for the smile and a giggle.. and he just asked.. "Did they cut LoLo's hair?" Good grief..

I'm just saying...

Ellen Pranks Taylor Swift

This is too funny. My sista Mona and I used to scare each other all the time! This one time.. (at band camp) I was in our room and we were going to bed. (we shared a room) and she was downstairs getting something in the kitchen and the house was dark as could be. I decided to turn out the lights in our room and get on the floor, on my hands and knees at the door opening and grab her ankles when she came back upstairs.

Well lo and behold, she had a similar idea and she crawled up the stairs on her hands and knees trying to not let me know she was approaching the room to scare me as well, thinking I was in bed. Well needless to say.. we bumped heads in the dark and skeared each other instead! We rolled over laughing for like 15 minutes and again.. we had the very same thought at the same time. Spooky for some peeps..



I love hearing Ellens laugh. Its infectious.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Regis and Kelly 2009 Halloween



Too Hysterical!!




























HELP!!! I DROPPED THE SOAP!!!




I got nothing else...

I'm just saying...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Wet Pretzel




Ok Okay!!! I slept in this morning and fell asleep in my throne.. my chair in the living room. I was awoken by the sweet baby patrick.. my grandson with his big smile and wide eyes. he slithered ontop of my lap to watch Madagascar and I still had slit for eyes. I smelled on his breath that he was eating pretzel rods and I asked him for one. Again, my eyes were still slits and bleary.. and lo and behold.. the baby produced a pretzel very quickly!! What a sweet baby and he listens so well!!
So I took the pretzel rod and inserted to the hungry mouth.. and bit a huge piece. Once I bit the friggin thing.. I realized very quickly that this pretzel rod had been soaking in the mouth of the sweet baby for quite a long time! It was soggy and stripped down of the salt in the worst way!!!..
Okay.. I had two options... spit it out and run to the kitchen.. or just.... swallow.. Needless to say I am still nauseated...

I'm just saying..

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Colonoscopy...

ABOUT THE WRITER
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture ofgoat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.


On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all:
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'






Kathy Grifin on Conan

Always a hoot and my favorite comedian! My maiden name is Griffin and also Irish Catholic so I think of her as family as she tells my stories in her stand up!!!




I also wanted to share with you guys the guest spot she did on Real Time with Bill Maher, but the only complete clip I cant figure out how to imbed.. so here is a link and go pee your pants.

Kathy Griffin on Real Time

Monday, October 26, 2009

REALITY BREAKING NEWS!!!

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Kim Zolciak Pulls a Britney!!!!! - On X17


NeNe Leakes: ‘I Was Edited To Be An Evil Person’ - Reality Tea


Teresa Guidice is not losing Taj Mahal Mansion after all! - On RealFaux HW


The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The Wig vs. The Moose. - Pretty On The Outside



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Three Ways To Fail A Drunk Test

These are great example's on how you can fail a drunken test in the worst condition. This makes me think and wonder if this is how I got that big knot on my head and holes in the walls that I first blamed on the boys....

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Things that make you go hmmmmmm.....


video



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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Amazing Makup Artist and tips by Michelle Phan

This chick is the BOMB when it comes to Makeup and beauty tips! I just discovered her and want to share a few videos she created for Halloween. Below is Barbie and the results are amazing from the before pic.






This is a Lady Gaga Tutorial



This is a Geisha Gal Tutorial



Below is a link to her entire youtube account. She has tips for smokey eyes, makeup for eyeglass wearing peeps, hair designs, etc.

http://www.youtube.com/user/MichellePhan#p

Piano Stairs!! This Is How To Get Peeps Thin Folks!

This was a great experiment. Make stairs entertaining and inadvertantly get peeps to walk the pounds off!! Its fun for the whole family and your large arse!!

This should be a bill presented to congress where all stairs should be mandatory in all public places. Maybe for the guys.. nudies of silhouetted females appear as they step on the stairs. For woman, as they step on the stairs, should be pics of men lowering the toilette seat, vacuuming and changing diapers!!! THe woman will get a huge laugh and stair climb at the same time totally optimizing their workout! They both should be called the fantasy stairs in my opinion..



Drunkest Man To Ever Walk!

Ok Okay, I have been out of town and maybe most of you have already seen this video but I couldn't help post and tell a wee story. (spoken with Irish brogue)

I had all the kids in the car coming back from shopping years ago and was cutting through this development when I saw this lad walking almost sideways on the sidewalk and his back was arched so far back while trying to walk forward. Now, I started to slow down and got a bit worried for the young turd and watched from afar to make sure he was okay. I have to say, he was tall and lanky and have never seen a male turd bend so far backwards in a perfect arch and thought maybe he was on drugs or drunk. His legs would stretch out forwards one at a time and each foot had a tough time making the landing.

I now know he was drunk from watching this video and now saw what a drunk looks like walking. (specially if I can't see myself walking in that condition!)

This poor boy below has fallen and can not get up!!!

I'm just saying..




Check out how this blog demonstrates how drunkin peeps are compared to yoga positions. Its a hoot!

http://en.kllproject.lv/people-and-land/yoga-and-drunk-persons/


Baby Dancing The Stanky Legs

HOLY CRAPPOLA!!! This baby got some moves that can put most of these readers to shame! You got to be born with the groove this baby is getting on.

Ch CH Check it out!!



"Don't Stop Believing" An Awesome Cover

If you love Journey, you will love this cover of Don't Stop Believing by this talented kid who sings all the vocals.

I would love to clone myself 5 times for other purposes thou.

1 - To cook like a good mother should
2 - To take care of the Mr Man LIKE I should
3 - To clean the house and rid all the dust mites and critters like I should
4 - To have a clone to wake up the turd for school like I should with a smile
&

5 - To spend more time primping.. or maybe just showering like I shuldda...

I'm just saying..


St Martin Pics Are Here For My Fellow Bloggers!

Okay Peeps, I have some pics for your drooling pleasure. I arrived home last night and had to stop first at Toys R US cause my grandson will not talk to me unless he has the latest Buzz Light Year and the cococut shell necklaces with a dolphin pendant and another with a Shark Tooth will not cut it for a three year old! I called him from the island the other night since I missed his Mickey Mouse voice and he asked me if I bought him a present. I said yes I did sweetie!, he asked.. Is it Yo Gabba Gabba? I said no. He asked is it Sparticus? I said nooooo.. Then he asked.. Is it Buzz Light Year? I gulped.. and said ahh nooo.. The he said.. Okay.. here is dad. My heart sunk and me and Mr Man knew what we had to do. Here is 70 bucks well spent on a sweet babies face below: (Patrick Kevin Gilmore.. AKA Mr Excitement!)






Then Mr Man wanted to stop for fast food and EAT INSIDE and all I can do is think about my bed and sleep! I need to detox in the worst way.

If you squeeze me now, you will get 3 Maitai's. If you squeeze my sister Mona, you will get 4 vokda, club and limes. We are both marinated fruits I tell ya!


Oh speaking of booze!!! Duty free alcohol rocks!! I got tons of liquore's and island rum for a few paso's, Euro's or Guilders! What ever floats your boat! (The island is half French and half Dutch as a P.S.) I have had some of the most amazing food eva!!! While swimming in the pools, I had local woman stringing me up some necklaces for the peeps here at home, Tiger eye set for my mom, Jade for the daughter inlaw and all kind of other funky island stuff for the boys.

I did not get the earring and necklace set from Mr Man that I wanted but I did get this awesome ring. More drooling material below:







Isn't Mr Man the BOMB!!! He totally rocks me rocks!!!! I am collecting quite a collection! I have already decided that if we ever break up.. I am going on Judge Mathis to fight... for my rights.... TO KEEP.. THE JEWELRY!!!!!! Someday I will post a pic of my engagement ring.. it totally rocks!!! Here is a pic of the Mr Man contemplating all the friggin jewlelry stores that we rocked many hours a day. He totally hated it but the main reason was that my sis and her hubby loves to shop for the gems when they go each year. The second reason is that they roll out the red carpet and fill you with exotic beer, wine and champagne and mostly for the island rum that tastes like malt rootbeer. I guess the premise is that they liquor you up to loosen the wallet. The Mr Man knows this and was fighting it toof and nail but he had to finally succump to the evil of a buzz!! That island rum is smooth but hits you upside da head!!





Now some pics of the heavenly place we stayed at with our lovely views...









My sis and her Mr Man.. they are the jewelry magnates who spend a zillion dollars on gems that will make your eyes bleed





Me and Mr Man.. I swear I dont look that fat in real life or I have perpetual wine goggles on..





The Men in their missionary position






Well folks.. it was quite a week with my left foot busted, my right foot inadvertantly scabbed on the heel from a bad pedicure gone wrong, bronchitus.. and what else.. an aversion to the heat!!!! Lo and behold I had a great time and the best part was coming home to the sweet baby grandson who had that amazing face for his new toy and told me atleast 50 times.. THANK YOU GRANDMA!! I kid you not.. he could not be more grateful by the look of his face.. What a sweetie pie! As I said.. money well spent.

In a few weeks I am going to Florida to see my daughter and my other 2 gbabies with my sis again who is my right brain, Mr Man and My 18 year old son Kevin. I will have lots more stories but will post here instead of other sites. I need to chronicle this stuff!!!

I'm just saying...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Glee Sneak Peak For Your Viewing Pleasure

I love love love this freaking show!!! This is like the 70's nightime variety hour show mixed in with a soap opera that I used to watch after school. I love love love this show and I forcefully suggest you all should watch to get the hairs raised off your arms mixed with a wee tear coming down from your wee eyes!!!!

Christen Chenowith was on last week and totally made my hairs stand up and stop breathing! Please peeps.. go .. run.. SET YOUR DVR'S!!!! Glee Peeps!!!




I'm Just Saying...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

So Many Men!!! So Little Time!!!

This was the theme song for me the other night when I got all dolled up and went to a big fancy shmancy party and I looked good!!!!!!!!!!

I was surrounded by men and holding court all night. This is the song that keeps ringing in my head. Enjoy!!!!!




And Wonderful Muscles Tooooooooo!!!!

I'm Just Saying.....

K-Fed Topless and Zexy Baby!!!!

This guy was once married to Britney Spears and famous for his hotness? I have a new rap written for him..

GIVE ME A BEAT!!!!

My name is K-Fat, and I wanna say...
My belly is happy and wants to come out and PLAY!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I'm Britneys baby daddy who once was hot...
But now I get paid a ton to watch the tater tots!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I sit on my butt, collecting big fat checks....
Once was a dancer... now I'm just a wreck!!!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

My tats where once small, just a piece of art...
Now they are huge, as if my skin had a big fart!!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I'm going on celebrity fit club, to loose me gut..
Walking to the scale.. I will give my best strut!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I once smelled manly, hot smells in crystal glass,
Now I reek of chit cause I just cant reach my ASS!!!!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

Boooya!!! My Boo!!

I'm just saying!!!!!






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Update: My sister just told me that I must of been drunk when I posted this. Ok I will give her that since when I called her late at night and asked her if she had a few drinks that she should see this post..

I'm Just Saying...

Half Man, Half Animal

This dude is amazing.. He dresses in elaborate body makeup and vogues out in poses showing off his amazing arse. He has a zillion videos and after viewing a few.. it appears he likes to dress as animals with tails? I think he likes tails extending out of his ass. But still he has one amazing ass and I would seriously tap that.





Monday, September 28, 2009

100 Greatest You Tube Hits In 4 Minutes



Spanish PM and Family in Photo Op With Obama's

Ok, I only have one word... AWKWARD!!!!! If I was the PM and his Wife, I would hide these kids in the closet and throw away the Key!!!! Isnt there a rule that kids of politicians should wear cardigans, pearls and plaid skirts?????

Whats up with the black frocks and combat boots? They both have their heads hanging shamelessly low as if they were the only ones in on the joke! Has anyone read the book or seen the movie, Flowers In The Attic? Well this movie now justifies when you lock kids up and feed them poison!




I'm just saying.....

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Real Housewives of Late Night



Thursday, September 10, 2009

Russia (Thinks) Has Talent

This would of never happened on Simons watch!



Real Housewives Of Atlanta Loses it on Ellen D.

Holy Crap! These.. so called ladies did an appearance on the Ellen show and the whole thing was arguing between Sheree and Kim. Ellens face is priceless and she enjoys the show waiting for the ho's to bitch slap each other. Ch Ch Check it out below...












Friday, August 7, 2009

You Tawk Ta Me!!!!!

Ok.. since I posted the funny or die RHONJ parody below.. I have to post my favorite one for old times sake. I just love to watch it ova and ova again...







I could swear these are my next door neighbors..

I'm just saying...


Ya Friggin Huuu-aaaaarrreeee

Ok, I have seen quite a few funny parodies on the NJ Real HouseTarts.. but this is the latest and greatest... Jamie Lynn Siegler costars and the best Huuaaarreee EVAAAA!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

You Got A Frog In My Stringbeans!!

No... you got stringbeans in my frog!!!!!!

This poor woman tried to make lunch for her kidlets and found a frog in the bottom of the bowl. Ch Check it out below..



Wedding Entrance!!!

Wow, if this is how the wedding ceremony is, can you imagine the reception? The couple came up with the idea themselves and the party got on board. FANTASTIC!!



Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ringling Bros. Beats Elephants

Ok... the Peta Organization can be a bit exteme. Going after Obama for killing a fly truly diminishes their serious work to protect animals.. but this one is too much.. even for a snarkly ol lady like me. My oldest son won't let me kill insects if he can capture them and put them outside... EVEN SPIDERS!!! You should see what we do when he is either sleeping or not around. We capture and stab the insect with a fork and cook it over the stove burner and laugh our asses off at his expense while we chug down beers.

I KID I KID!!!!

Peta went undercover again and uncovered some disturbing video on how the trainers for Ringling Bros actually beat the elephants into submission right before they enter the ring for a performance. Well, I cant really say "into submission" because the elephants are innocently just standing in line thinking mean thoughts for their handlers.

Uh.. I am not a rocket scientist.. but wouldnt that just create angry elephants with a packed house putting the visitors at danger? How many times have we seen circus elephants lose it and trample peeps and we wonder why?

This is really a sad video and makes me want to boycott the circus. Fer reals. And I really like laughing at the clowns fall on their asses and watching peeps volunteer to gallop the horse standing up and only get their head stuck up the horses ass instead. Good times.


Visit RinglingBeatsAnimals.com


I'm just saying...

 
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