Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Arse Head




Ok, this is not funny... but.. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This poor babe has the age old problem of acne. Believe you me, I know the issue and lived in a dermatologist office for most of my adolescent life! I could of connected the dots until doomsday!

This poor lad has a different issue. His acne spelled out Arse on his forehead. Yes peeps, he didn't even need to connect the dots!

Here is the newsfeed, the poor lad talks about the pimply situation.

He said: “I’ve always had bad skin and didn’t think things could get any worse, but obviously I was wrong.”

Well, things can get seriously wrong. You can have acne, braces, an overprotected Irish Catholic Father with 2 big brothers who would scare off any suitors if you had any...

yep, could be worse.

I'm just saying...

Man Killed By Condemn - I Swear!!!




Can you imagine the obituary for this poor sap?

John Doe is laid to rest,

A condemn on his head, suffocated at best.

Confused as to where the device be placed,

The smaller head, not the face.


I'm just saying...

Epic Movies Made In One Minute

This is the story of my life. If I want sex, it can only take a minute. If I have company coming over, I have one minute to clean the house and prepare a meal. If I have to kick the kids ass, it only takes one minute for me to lay down a verbal bashing following with two swift kicks to the ass.

Below are similar ideas for watching a movie in a minute if you are too busy to sit down for the whole 2 hours! I must multitask everything and this is my kind of movie watching. This of the calories you will not consume eating all that popcorn and raisenettes!

Forest Gump In One Minute

EMBED-Forest Gump In One Minute - Watch more free videos


Kill Bill Parts 1 & 2, in One Minute


Cool Chameleon Changes Its Outfit More Than Me

This is pretty cool! I wish it was that easy for me. It's like havine I Dream Of Jeannie Powers where I can blink my eyes and clean the house. Blink my eyes, and shut the kids up. Blink my eyes, kids are all professionals with good jobs and are supporting themselves and only call me once a week.

A girl can dream huh?

I'm just saying....



EMBED-Coolest Chameleon Ever - Watch more free videos

Monday, March 23, 2009

Best Wedding Fight Eva!

Again, perusing the funniest site of lately, here is a tidbit that I couldn't resist. It was either this one or the one where the brides dress goes up in flames. I have a wicked sense of humor but thought you might prefer this one instead if you are not as deviant as I am.

I'm just saying....



Tacky Weddings



I found this great site which has tons of material for the most tackiest wedding cakes, dresses, etc. This is definitely a sit down with a girfriend and some booze to get the LOL'S going.

Here a few previews:













Girls - Boys - I Dare You To Get Through This Whole Song

This is the most lamest Song/Video I have ever seen and have been thrown back to the 80/90's with a huge can of Aqua Net. Don't light a match folks. POOF!

I dare you to see if you can get through the whole video. I tried and couldn't.

I'm just saying...

This Dog Lays The Golden Eggs!!

This doggie below is the dog that keeps on giving. His owner had a great day at work and brought home lots of cash in tips and found the next day it was missing!

The owner then takes the dog for a walk and scooped up green poop. No it wasn't the green eggs and ham or the green beer, THE DOG ATE HER MONEY!!!!

The owner decided on how she worked hard for her money, yes hard for her money...

She decided to bring it home and wash it. I don't know what she used to wash it with but I am gagging at the thought. It took a few days for her to scoop most of her money and I am wondering where she will spend the laundered money?

I'm just saying..


This Week In Cartoons



Friday, March 20, 2009

I Love You Man - Interview

OK this is just funny arse.. Laugh your arse off seriously.

Flatulence Exposed Exclusive with Paul Rudd, Jason Segel and Matt Zaller

These guys just make me laugh when they do... I busted a gut and peed my panties. Not very pretty I must say...

These guys just are too funny and the more they laugh I do. If you don't get potty humor this post is not for you!




Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Smarties Are A Gateway Drug?



I thought I have seen everything!! Kids are now smoking candy in lieu of ciggarettes or praticing for smoking ciggarettes? Someone explain this to me!!!! This kid below really knows how to roll the smoke. Don't tell me when he grows up he won't replace the candy with something harder? What next? He is going to snort pixie sticks powder or whiffing watermelon Jolly Ranchers? Maybe smoke up some pop rocks??

I'm just saying....




American Idol - Adam Lamber Has A Ring Of Fire On His....

Holy Crap!!! Johnny Cash is not only rolling over in his grave, He is probaly coming back to life to put the fire out in Adams Pants! Another one who made this song "His Own".

When He sings the chorus Burn Burn BURN!!!!! It sounds like he is in the middle of peeing with a STD that is burning the Jizz out him!!!!

I also feel like a spell was put on me during that chorus. BRB.. need to get some black liner and nail polish. I am now dazed and cornfused.

I'm just saying....




OMG!!! Bravo's Real Housewives Has Come To NJ!!!


Holy crap peeps!! They casted in NJ and I was not aware of it!!!!! I can't wait for this show to air! I can only imagine they are going to compare these ladies to the Atlanta Ladies but with really really big hair!!! The location is actually the Jersey Shore which is going to be very interesting. The Jersey Shore can range by town with a specific category of people. For instance, Spring Lake Heights is more of an Irish professional, family high income area. Seaside Heights, its a seasonal area for peeps who just want to club and drink till they pass out. These peeps usually come from the Bronx, Brooklyn, Staten Island and Long Island. I can go on and on, but you will have to see it to believe it.

Check out Bravo's site for the previews and bio's.







Below is a Beach Called Guido Beach in NJ that I have never heard of. This beach does look like Seaside Heights which is skeary beyond belief.. Ch Ch Check it out..



Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Song Of The Day - Mariah Carey Covered

Mariah's song "Ken Lee" has been covered by Bulgarian Music Idol and the singer made it her own. Seriusly, Totally her own! She even invented a new language! I wish I just as talented...



The Secret Is In The Brownies!!!

This lil tidbit below reminds me of a few fellow bloggers:

Bernie
SusQ
and Roger

I could swear its Roger making the 911 call and its Bernie and SusQ in the background freaking out.

Ch Ch Check it out..



Last Week In Cartoons



Happy St. Patricks Day!!

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HAPPPY SAINT PATTS DAYS U TURDS!!!!!!

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Happy St Patricks Day Peeps!!!!

I Was ill




Holy Crap.. someone give me mouth to mouth.. I serious.... Its early for the Easter Bunny but he cares...

Monday, March 16, 2009

Green Bagels And the "Ham"



My Mom was shopping earlier in the week and was in the bakery section when she spotted the green bagels. Of course the grocery store took an opportunity to capitalize on the holiday and it worked on my mom.

She quickly grabbed the bagels, came home, and proudly announced she purchased GREEN BAGELS!!! She sought out each person in the house to make this announcement and was proud of herself for her St. Patricks Day Contribution.

As I make my Corned Beef and Cabbage I do not seek out the appreciation for the laborious meal that cooks for hours and heats up my house with the stench of cabbage no matter how good it tastes. My mom is an attention seeker and she seems to think that bagels where worthy of all the "pats" on the back. I always seem to take every opportunity to point out my mom's craziness and then.. I start to feel guilty.. for a minute or two.

“Lord, please help me to stop being this way. Forgive me of my sins and help me to not feel this way. Please take these feelings away and give me the right ones. Please keep me from going to hell.”

A day or so goes by and the Mr Man says to me, "Aileen! The bagels are green!?!?" I said.. yes dear they are.

Then he asks.. "Whats wrong with them?"

I stood back, just stared at the man, then patiently said.. Honey.. St Patricks Day is coming up. OK.. Then he says... "But that's not until Tuesday?"

Please shoot me now.. I live in a house with peeps who don't have a clue and I feel like the only sane one.

I'm just saying...

At My Finest - Girl Gone Wild!

This was so many years ago and now I have been found out and posted on girls gone wild!!!! Ok I was drunk and ate too many brownies for the nerve. I was dared into performing my oscar award winning dance and now it has resurfaced!!!

Please please don't judge me.

Thank god their is no audio with all the hootin and hollerin going on. I did look good I must say...



Did Someone Say Bomb?

I keep thinking of Ben Stiller in 'Meet The Parents'
Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Bomba Bomb!

Lord have mercy!! Put 10,000 high heeled woman on a sidewalk who have standing around since the early morn, starving for their 2 grapes and a cup of coffee, who has an urgent need to pee... Then scream...
BOMB!!!!

This just cracks me up! I could see the headlines,
Woman trampled by 10,000 high heeled models wannabe's. Thankfully they all had eating disorders so the damage was from heel puncture' only.
How else do you expect all these woman to react with only 10,000 brain cells collectively between them all?

I'm just saying...

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Turtle Rapes Shoe - Needs glasses

Our Newest little tidbit is too funny to watch! We got a turtle mistaking an old stinky tennis shoe as a mate but he sure does look like he is enjoying anyway. Peeps, take note on what a real orgasm looks and sounds like. Me on the other hand has to use a pillow.

This so reminds me of my Ex waking me up in the middle of the night drying humping my leg in my sleep.

This also reminds me of a Bird we once had. His was a Sun Conure names Tommy who loved my Ex and loved to snuggle with him. When the Ex was lounging out straight on the couch, the bird would waddle on down to his sock covered big toe and hump his big toe all the time! I was pretty sure he had some illegitimate bird/men out there in the wild somewhere..

I'm just saying...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Have You Ever Been In This Situation Before?

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20 Years Of Marriage

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Now Normally I would say:
The End


But you know.. Thats it's not The End.. To say the least..

I'm Just Saying....

A Vwery Vwery Serious Politician Makes A Statement

OK OK.. So you have an issue with the clutch.. maybe its the brake.. NO!!! You just gotta be an arsehole and try and git away???

This poor bastid is like a crazy man who we love to watch.. Thrust and ram.. I can git away in the rubble of the wall. I know I can do it!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Thrust and ram..

Thrust and ram..

Thrust and ram..

Uh.. I didn't get a rise from it..

BUT IT'S STILL GOOD!!!!

A Thrust and Ram is good for me.. Seriously.. I had some ooh and aahs over it and I think I had and an O from the whole tink..








I'm Just Saying..

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Grey Gardens Promo

WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (if you watch Housewives of Orange County, It was a Vicky Woooo)

I have been waiting for this movie to come out! It's actually an HBO movie so you gotta subscribe to get it. Fortunately I do and can't wait. It will air on April 18 at 8:00 pm.

I have seen all the documentaries and read everything I could get my hands on. If you have netflix or Blockbuster online, you can order it from there to compare or just buy it!.

The documentary is totally fascinating and gives you a voyeuristic view into their life.

Below is a YouTube Promo and here is a link for the HBO information.

Also a link with some excerpts from the documentary.

The movie stars Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange and actually looks good. Please please see the documentaries first.




This Is Why You're FAT!!



BBAAARRRRRFFFF!!!!!!! Yes peeps.. more of "This Is Why You Are Fat" and ITS YOUR FAULT!!! Above is not a simple cake.. look closer.. ITS A FRIGGIN MEATLOAF CAKE!!!

Hold on.. BRB.. I gotta barf... OK back.

I am assuming that white stuff is mashed potatoes and I just had some for dinner and now it came back up. Not as good coming up and it is going down.. Believe you me.

Go Check out more gross food at their site and let me know if you have eaten any of it.

Wait.. even better, let me know if you ate any of that yuck AND contributed to the site AND got fat.

I'm just saying...

Kermit The Frog Can Lose His Job!!!




What the heck is it coming to when Sesame Street is being affected by the economy???

If life gets tough, we NEED all the crazy muppets on Sesame Street.

It has been reported that "Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit producer of "Sesame Street" and other kids' programs, is cutting about one-fifth of its work force because of the economic downturn.

The New York-based company said Wednesday that it's eliminating 67 of 355 staff positions."

What the heck????

My grandsons are gonna kick some maja baby arse if they find out...

I'm just saying...

The Grass Is Always Greener....




Sometimes you can reach too far!

And when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of,

there is one thing you should always remember.......

Not everyone who shows up......



Is there to help you!!!!





I'm Just saying....

Your Chance to Beat The Heck Outta Chris Brown!

Some really creative peeps came up with Interactive YouTube Videos that is pretty cool in concept. I new that if you clicked on a running video it can take you to a new link if embedded, but this one is awesome..

Ch Ch Check it out...



What The Buck Show - On Britney, Twitter, and Sherry Shepard?

Britney Spears Vaginal Escape!!! Twilight - Twitter - American Idol & Daily Miley Puke!

Ch Ch Check it out!




Cell Phones Can Pop Popcorn?

HOLY POPCORN PEEPS!!!

This lil tidbit below shows us just how dangerous or.. or... skeary cellphones can be to our body!!!

Not the popcorn peeps.. its delicious and nutritious... I can eat popcorn all day. The thing I hate most about popcorn is the friggin shell like matter that gets stuck in between your teeth. You can dig all you want but somehow it has to come out naturally. The other thing I hate is the smell. Its like cigarettes and takes for ever to go away. I had a friend who had to have a bowl every night just to have a normal bowel movement. Well that's what she told me so I wouldn't be so offended by the smell on her 24 x 7. She wasn't really a friend but a co-worker who I imagined wouldn't be so pleasant if she had her daily routine out of whack.. Me.. I just need a cup of tea and I am good to go!!!

Okies Okies.. I DIGRESSED!!!!

I think I may plan on using either the blue tooth or speaker phone from now on..

And to think we are buying phones for our kids...

I'm just saying...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

America Has Serious Talent By The Way Of Russian Performers!

This is a pretty cool tidbit for acrobats or for peeps who want to see peeps fall hard and spilt thier heads open.. You be the judge..



Monday, March 9, 2009

What The Buck Show

A New Episode for your viewing pleasure..



Sunday, March 8, 2009

Bud Lights Real Men



Thought Of The Day..



This Week In Cartoons



Bad Waxing Job Gone Terribly Wrong

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All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:

'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet..' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees ('Cold wax,' yeah.. Right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. IT WORKS!

Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.....

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out..must stay conscious.. must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX????

Slyly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.. It's not!! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... I remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do next and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub..in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of t he tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha? She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I
give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!! RIGHT!!!! I should be the joke of someone’s night!
While we go through the various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than having your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace..the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!!! It works!!!!'
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.. THE HAIR IS STILL THERE..ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color!

Friday, March 6, 2009

My Grandbaby Told Me "I Am Gonna Kick Your Ass!!"

Ok the posting is outrageous enough. I hear you. This lovely child of 2.5 years old told me.. "I am gonna kick your ass grandma"

Now I was totally taken back.. had to think hard then asked the poor baby .. "What did you say?"
"Grandwa.. I gonna kick ur ass"
Originally, he wanted soup, I didnt make any soup so I opened a can. Heated it up, drained the liquids cause kids can't sip the liquids without making a mess... and I am not into cleaning up a huge mess that can be prevented.. Okay.. so I set down the soup.. the super baby loves it and starts eating.. I sit next to him and watch him which he just loves the company. He gets all sweet and happy that he has company while he is eating and he so lovingly tells me.. "grandwa.. I gonna kick your ass" OMG!! Who taught this baby such blasphamy!!! So I call in my Mr Man.. "The baby said this.. So he tells the baby.. "I am gonna kick your ass" THe baby says... "Pappy! I am gonna kick UR ass" OMG!!! There is no turning back!!!

Finally I yelled to my son.. "KYLE!!! GIT IN HERE!!!!!" Yeah the same Kyle who sung to me.. "Kyles mom is a bitch bitch bitch" see a few post's below.

This is my sweet Patrick before he learned to talk and looking at him.. I had no idea I would ever hear those words..

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I'm just saying...

What The Buck Show - I Am Obsessed!!!

I am so obsessed with this guy. He just tells it like it is and I just want more. Fortunately for me.. he is the gift that keeps on giving!! He got all the latest and greatest of the past week and in his words.. its all fun and games to the peeps who love the entertainment!

Ch Ch Check it out!





Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Internet Drums Folks!!! FANTASTIC!!

WOW PEEPS!! I finally have something that can be shared with your entire family. Took me awhile but most of my material is not for the kiddies and I can't help it. My fingers got turrets and there is no cure.

Below is a really cool website that allows you to kick out some licks in a burning solo.

Start by just typing your name. Type words with double consonants which make for cool licks.

Break it on down cool cat's.

Warning - Make sure you don't finger zinger (play too fast) or you will miss some of the notes.

HOLY OCTO MOM Giving Birth Video!!


Holy Crap.. new rumors of Oct Mom selling her birthing of 8 sweet wee babies in now up for sale!!! I guess a girl gotta pay the rent but HOLY MOLY!!! who wants all that kind of business out there for the world to see?? The last thing I wanted was ANYONE to see me all sweaty and grunting like a baboon and swearing like a sailor in the most uncomfortable and undesirable looking position to hit the Internet or worse... MAIN STREAM MEDIA TO OBSERVE, and tell me how fat my thighs looks.. SERIOUSLY!!! My mama jugs would so be going east and west and forget about the stretch marks!!! That vision alone can burn a hole through your brain!

I do not think this is a good move on anyone parts.. the participant and mostly the viewer.

Stuff like this causes cancer to the eye..

I'm just saying...

Kyle's Mom Is A Big Fat Bitch Bitch Bitch

I have only this one thing to say..

My oldest son, his name is Kyle and I am tired of this song following me everywhere..

I know he is good with puters and software.. hmmmm...

I really thought it was a lovely name when I wrote it on the birth certificate..

I'm just saying...



Lucy Ball Demonstrates How We Can Economize During Tough Times.

Blast From The Past is not so irrelevant!

Poor Lucy. She has seen financial woes and we can certainly sympathize with her during our tough times. We all need to economize and stop the unnecessary services we pay for and start doing things for ourselves!!!

- Quit the fake ugly nails, (man do you peeps know how ugly they look? They look like hooks for bugers)
- Quit the Merry Maid Services and git off your arses and do it your damn selves you lazy arses.
- Quit the high fashion names on the most ugly Ho bags I have ever seen and ridiculous clothes. Walmart will readily accept your broke arse credit cards.
- Quit the facials! You can't stop the aging so why pay money pretending you look good?
- Quit the expensive movie theaters! The popcorn, soda and raisin-ettes are costly. Just download the darn movies like I do and hope you don't get caught!
- Quit dining out peeps!! The alcohol is the most expensive part of the meal and you know most of you peeps drink most of your meals.. (drinking at home is most economical and safe.. to say the least..)
- Quit taking your clothes to the dry cleaners and do your own friggin laundry!!!! They can not get out those friggin milky stains off your collar!!!

DO NOT!!! AND I REPEAT.. DO NOT!! DO YOUR OWN HAIR!!! You will end up looking like crack in the can with bad roots.

I'm just saying..


Piranha's Actually Have A Purpose On This Land That Was Made For You And Me..

This guy is one crazy Piranha seeker and you could not pay me enough money for the first minute of this tidbit.

After watching the film, I realized that Piranha's actually have a purpose. They rid the waters of rotting flesh. They only attack animals that don't intimidate them, they take out the weak. WAIT!!!! Is that the same purpose of Elizabeth Hasselback?

HMMMM.........

I'm just saying...



Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Roseanne Bar Rocks!



At Roseanne's World, she had the following post about Rush which made me throw my fist up into the air and scream "YOU TELL EM SISTA!!"

More Parasites On Your Body Than People In The World!!!

OK This is a follow up to my post of TOTD below and decided to share with you peeps what is crawling on your body. I love to make peeps squirm and freak out where I thought only toilet humor can do it, but I think this is the momma of them all! Now I dare you to get through the whole video without having a bit of reflux.

NOW GO TAKE A SHOWER WITH A SCRUB BRUSH AND LYE!!!

I'm just saying...

A Dalmation Rides A Bike?

OK, I gotta get this dog! I could use some help around the house and running errands and Dogs are more obedient than kids. I wonder what else that dog can do?

I guess I could put scrub brushes on his feet to assist in swabbing the decks at home, or maybe... he can push the lawn mower but I wonder if he could keep straight lines.. hmmm.. Maybe he can also push the vacuum cleaner.. I don't care about the lines on the carpet like I do the lawn.

Ch Ch Check out my future mommies helper...



Monday, March 2, 2009

TOTD - (Thought of the Day) A Mother Ponders

Hmmmmmmm...

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Let's say you woke up to the bright lights in the house due to the reflection of the snow and you saw every bit of yuck gracing your beloved home. You made some tea, then some more. Blogged a bit, and read a few posts. You had finally decided your home is no longer beloved.

Eventually you got up and started to give your home an enema! Out with the dust, in with the disinfectant! You dust, scrub, cleanse and vacuum like its aerobics on a DVD. I am panting, sweating and my face is like a salt lick and my eyes are burning. I settle down for a few minutes and decide to jump into the shower. While I am in the bathroom, I can't help myself. I scrub some more, disinfect some more, then finally run the hot water to rid the body of all the parasites where the number of parasites is more than the people on earth.

I emerge from the bathroom all fresh and shiny, pressed clothes.. glide down the stairs with the dregs of the earth lifted off my shoulders and body...

Then..

My boys one by one ask me..

"Mom? Who is coming over?"
"No one why?"
"Well your cleaning like Christmas"
"Well I am not getting the freaking tree out or making a ham"
"Mom, where are you going?"
"No where, why?"
"You took a shower... thought you might be going out.."
Can't a woman just take care of business without the scrutiny of her hygiene?

Hmmmmm... Out of the mouths of babes..?????


My mom of course chimes in..

OH!!! Are we a lady now??? I didn't recognize you....

OMG I am gonna move to a friggin island with no cell phone service with laser beams on shark heads directed to my home in Joisey.

I'm just saying...

Last Weeks Roundup Of News and Blues

In cased you missed all the news of the past week, we have a recap for you slackers. Now git on your serious news folks and make a difference in the world. QUIT BLOGGING!!!!!

Yikes, I better take my own advice..




Rush Limbaugh Is Taking Action To Recruit Female Groupies

Lord Have Mercy!!! Clue Less and Delusional, Rush is looking to get some bush, in his groupie crowd. He doesn't understand why us chickadees don't like to listen to blow hard hot air and he created this groupie recruiting tidbit below. He is tired of the all the man love in his corner and wants to try his hand out on new body parts.

Uh Rush??? Maybe us skirts are just not that into you?? Ya think?

I'm just saying...


Margaret and Helen ROCKS!!

Margaret and Helen are 2 amazing 80's something woman who just tell it like it is and call it out in print. These woman drew a lot of attention during the election and I can't even imagine the hits they have by just looking at the number of comments per post. They had thought the fuss over their website would die down after the election but the fire in Helen's bottom due to the election like most of us, has her eyes and ears open and doesn't hesitate to tell it like it is from all their 170 years of experience combined.

This is refreshing and entertaining as Helen is the majority contributor to the site and by the content of the postings, most peeps think she is really a college student working on a paper of some sort. Either way.. I am entertained and laugh out loud from the candid wisdom.

Helen's latest postings are an 8 part review of "Ann Coulter the Tranny Mess" latest book. She started the reading and review of the book for Margaret so she would not have to damage her eyes or brain. Helen thinks she is tougher.

Go check out the ladies words of wisdom.





Best Phone Prank Gone Wrong!

The lil tidbit below is all kinds of LOL. This kid has alot of nerve to get this poor mom all up in a tizzy which would be my worst nightmare.. but I still can't help but laughing!!! The funniest parts are the pranker trying to conceal his laughter. Go pee first for my friends who have weak bladders...

I'm just saying..




Sunday, March 1, 2009

Drunkin Animals, Looks Like Friday Night Blogging At Watching The View

This lil tidbit below was filmed by me while attending happy hour at one my favorite blog sites.

Now I seem to recognize a few peeps. This is too funny watching the elephant fall and can't get up.

Ch Ch Check it out..




The New Republican Slogan

I don't like to usually help promote any material for the right mongerss.. but I have a change of heart and decided to be fair and balanced.. just like FOX news...

I feel so much better now about myself...

I'm just saying..




 
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