Friday, July 24, 2009

You Got A Frog In My Stringbeans!!

No... you got stringbeans in my frog!!!!!!

This poor woman tried to make lunch for her kidlets and found a frog in the bottom of the bowl. Ch Check it out below..

Wedding Entrance!!!

Wow, if this is how the wedding ceremony is, can you imagine the reception? The couple came up with the idea themselves and the party got on board. FANTASTIC!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ringling Bros. Beats Elephants

Ok... the Peta Organization can be a bit exteme. Going after Obama for killing a fly truly diminishes their serious work to protect animals.. but this one is too much.. even for a snarkly ol lady like me. My oldest son won't let me kill insects if he can capture them and put them outside... EVEN SPIDERS!!! You should see what we do when he is either sleeping or not around. We capture and stab the insect with a fork and cook it over the stove burner and laugh our asses off at his expense while we chug down beers.


Peta went undercover again and uncovered some disturbing video on how the trainers for Ringling Bros actually beat the elephants into submission right before they enter the ring for a performance. Well, I cant really say "into submission" because the elephants are innocently just standing in line thinking mean thoughts for their handlers.

Uh.. I am not a rocket scientist.. but wouldnt that just create angry elephants with a packed house putting the visitors at danger? How many times have we seen circus elephants lose it and trample peeps and we wonder why?

This is really a sad video and makes me want to boycott the circus. Fer reals. And I really like laughing at the clowns fall on their asses and watching peeps volunteer to gallop the horse standing up and only get their head stuck up the horses ass instead. Good times.


I'm just saying...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Grab My Hair and Dry Hump Me

Oh Lord have mercy.. Tie me up and pull my hair!!! I want some young strappling young man to sit on me and dry hump me while he tries to pull my hair.. yeah.. my hair.. the hair that is the gift that keeps on giving... He may know that the curtains dont match the drapes... that I am bald.. I dunno.. Just love me a long time is all I can say.. I love you long time!!!!

Give it to me baby.. nice and slow.. yeah yeah.. thats right.. just there.. NO THERE!!!.. ok cool.. right there....

I'm just saying..

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Music That I Can Finally Read

I just composed my first sonnet and I am so proud! I don't think my mother enjoys the melody since she is 72 years old and no longer recognizes the melody as enjoyable.


I'm just saying...

Ellen on the Hawaii Chair

I actually saw this eposide a few years ago and somehow I was finally reminded of this skit. What ever Ellen does.. I cry laughing. I laugh more when she does. Oh!!! Now I remember!!! yesterday she had the game on where she makes peeps dress up in blow up sumu wrestler costumes and make them go after a football. She laughed so hard which made me laugh hard which I then peed my pants.. 5 TIMES!!!!!

Check out the lol's below.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Joke of The Day - "My Duck Is Dead"

Sad Ducks

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot.. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged,

"I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."


Larry King on Kimmel

I am not a fan of Kimmel, but I came across this interview and found it completely hysterical. I would like to see more of these kind of stories from Larry. Makes him more interesting to watch. The only time I usually watch is when Kathy Griffin is on. She just runs all over him and totally cracks me up.

Watch below.


I Have No Words For This One

Total Freak Out

This kids mom cancelled his gaming accout and his reaction is priceless. This is how I act when the liquor store closes early and I cant get my box of wine and git me drink on...

I'm just saying...

All Da Single Ladies Krunk Style

Okay, I know you have seen all the video remakes for All The Single Ladies... but this is a must see. You will gasp then laugh your ass off.

Mudda Fuddin Jelly Dognut at Krispe Kreme

Okay, If you can get through this whole rant.. I will pay you (holding pinky to the edge of my mouth) ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!! I dont think I have ever heard someone speak so fast on a bunch of nonsense! The 6:15 mark gets really hilarious.

Beat It with Shaq

Now, I don't mean literally. yeah I am talking to you.. get your hands outta your pants!!!

I'm just saying...

Eye Brow Dog... ?????

Now this dog needs some epilady or Nair.

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