Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Ima Gonna GRAPE UR ARSE!!! Of course its a subtle advertisement.. go with me peeps..

I have no issue with this ad. As long as your a freak in the dungeon typing with one hand. Yep.. you know who you are. You like grapes so bad that you cant even stand the ramifications of grapin rape!! ok watch the video..


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Woman Who Dies At Her Own Funeral.. I Hope I have An Easer Death..

A woman has reportedly died from the shock of coming to life at her own funeral.

Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, 49, was wrongly declared dead by doctors, but she actually died after hearing people pray for her soul in Kazan, Russia, according to the Daily Mail. She also heard that there where 15 virgin young boys waiting for her beyond the pearly gates and wanted to get it on and poppin.

She was taken back to a hospital where she was declared dead, this time for good. With vision of young boys to get it on with. YOUNG STRAPPLIN YOUNG BOYS THAT IS.. Oh what an arc..

"Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital but she only lived for another 12 minutes," her husband, Fagili Mukhametzyanov, said, according to the Daily News.

Mukhametzyanov said he plans to sue the hospital, which says it is conducting an investigation of the incident. His wife was not permitted to have or experience an arc since he could not git it up.

Her final cause of death was heart failure, according to reports. Her "first death" was also heart-related, a suspected heart attack. Cause of the Arc related fantasies..

This isn't the first time a funeral has taken an unexpected twist. In recent years, a man showed up alive for his own funeral in Brazil and a premature baby declared dead woke up before his own funeral before dying shortly after in Paraguay.

Let this be a lesson to peeps who fantasize about Arcs, real boobs and anything natural back in the day where processed food did not permeate our meals... Ya know those McNuggets are gonna kill ya right? It promotes moobs on men for all the wrong reasons..

Whole foods is the way to go peeps!

The Biggest Boobs on Earth!! No LIE!!! Word of The Day.. Boobs.. Spread the Word..

Meet Norma Stitz.

She has tata's bigger then an average teenager and finds no reason to reduce the mongaloid boobs that provide her with daily berating from peeps who can only rub one out whole fantisizing about the talents she may behold. Can you imagine them tata's swinging around a pole? Some on is gonna git a black eye fer sure..

Née Annie Hawkins-Turner, the 52-year-old for Atlanta, Georgia, has the world's largest natural breasts (as reportedly confirmed by Guinness) -- 102ZZZs. That's 3.5 feet of cleavage and each side weighs in at 56 pounds.

Hawkins-Turner made headlines on Thursday after appearing on UK's "This Morning" to talk about her assets with hosts Phillip Schofield and Jenni Falconer.

On getting her first bra when she was 10:
"I don't know what size I was. I was just big. The only thing I remember about those bras is they were cotton and they stuck out just like footballs and that's when I knew I was different. Kids are some of the worst people in the world when it comes to picking on people. I was teased a lot."

On her daily routine:

"When I go out of my house I have to think about what my day is going to be like and who is going to attack me today. Every day someone teases me that doesn't know me. They make fun of me and there's no reason. I'm human like everybody else."

On her late husband Alan:

"He turned my whole life around. He made me love myself and turned me into his Barbie doll. I was like a plus-sized Barbie doll to him. He treated me like a queen. He loved me and he loved my kids. He was my angel, it wasn't just sexual."

On the work she's done for adult websites:

"I've shown people big is beautiful and you can be sexy in your own way. It's not mucky, I'm an entertainer. I talk to you, I'm your fantasy. When I talk to you it's because there are things in your mind that you want to do to me. But in reality you'd never meet me."

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

An Ass Whipe Gets a Beat Down!!

(click to make larger)

I have only one thought..

Dont place ur stanky ass on my white wedding dress!!!! Them is stanky ass fighting words!!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Lost Emails.. Too FF

Genius Mudda Fudda's!!!!

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving until 5.



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.


The Titanic

Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it"

.......just saying...



Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF




Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.



Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.


Stevie Wonder

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.


Black people

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.


Sarah Palin

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.


Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?



Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.


Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.



Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?


The Mayans

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?


Native Americans

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.


Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...


The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?



I rest my case...
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