Saturday, December 8, 2007

Lesbian Phone Sex...

The Big Gay Scetch Show version of Lesbian Phone Sex... way too funny..

!! Good Vocabulary Can Feed The Hungry !!

At FreeRice.com, you play a simple word game and for each correct response, the site's advertisters donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. If you know your words, it can really add up quickly! I donated over 1000 grains of race in just a few minutes yesterday.

Go give it a try. It will make you smarter and help the world's poor.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Who needs to learn to fish??? I think this is a woman's fishing hole.. no need to reel in, .. just watch out for a wack in the face.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Tweezers Are For More Than Plucking Eyebrows

The day was finally enjoyable... not sure what I was to do. I cleaned the kitchen, checked my email and watched my shows on tivo from the night before. I was prepared for the kids coming off the bus which was quite soon so I was hurrying around my day. The gorgeous day was only asking for me to start the gardens, I wavered, tried to find an excuse not to choose that path just yet. You see, I am OCD (I refer too only by nature) once I go into the gardens, I come out, broken and sore for days. I can’t just do one thing, I have do as much as my body will allow me before I fall down and cry in pain. I have not learned the art of a gradual process. It will maybe come to me.

So the first child comes home one the bus, I greet him with the usual how was your day, are u hungry? He goes off most likely to busy himself with video games until the door bell rang. I approached the door unsure of what I would encounter. OMG, do I have makeup on?? Let me smooth my hair. It’s Justin, a neighborhood kid who I really like and felt relieved and shouted... KEVIN!!!!!! DOOR!!!!!! Kevin came downstairs... and he went outside to speak to his friend. I went into the kitchen to fuss around and Kevin came into the kitchen to tell me about his conversation with Justin. Mom! Justin has a problem. I turned around and waited for him to continue... MOM! Justin has a tick on his... Er.. Um... let me put it politely... his berries. (Not the word he used and was not polite). I asked him... did he come over here just to tell u that??? No, mom, he needed tweezers. At that very moment my eyes bulged and I asked... NO, you didn’t give him my good tweezers next to my laptop???? At that time, my mind went swirling around. I have good lighting next to my laptop. All my eyebrows, and chin plucking goes on there with my magnifying mirror at amazing reach under the end table. This is a pair of Tweezers; Mr. Tweezers which cost 20 friggin bucks!!! I will never see these tweezers again. He did confirm for me that is exactly what he did. I lowered my head, resigning to the fact that I will never see these tweezers again. I went about my business in the kitchen, and also took a serious mental note to buy another pair immediately cause a girl can’t go without a pair of good tweezers. So I went about my business in the kitchen again, feeling somewhat in morning, when suddenly the doorbell rang. I was a bit leery... can my tweezers have a way to come to mama?? Is it possible? I tried to look for a container to have it dropped into without touching the now tainted tweezers and refraining from all comments on teenage contamination and diddling? I just approached the front door as an adult woman. I saw Justin through the glass door. I had a bit of elation and as I approached the door to open, I had an immediate thought and slid the shirt cuff fleece sleeve over my palm and stuck it out the door. Poor Justin just looked at me with the widest eyes, and hid the tweezers in his palm of his right hand. I knew that he thought he was returning the tweezers to Kevin and not me, and this would shame him to let him know what he borrowed MY tweezers for the meaning of plucking off a tick from his sacred berries not to be known from Kevin’s mom’s knowledge. I threw my fleece covered hand out and said... drop it here, and smiled... the wide eyed boy shakily move his arm towards me and dropped the pink Mr. Tweezers in my fleece covered hand with this apprehensive smile. I knew I compromised my son but now have this great sense of relief that the great Mr. Tweezer was returned to me and had this intense feeling that the tweezers needed a serious disinfecting in the worst way. I blinked at this child and said... Thank you...I then said, do you want to speak to Kevin??? He wavered and said... uh... ok... so I called my son down... and I went right to the Kitchen... Boiling hot water and pouring rubbing alcohol and proceeded to sterilize.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

 
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