Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Daniel Staub Of Real Housewives of Cracked Out McMansions Performs

OH the Humanity!!!! What the Hell was Danielle thinking or even better.. What the hell was her PEEPS thinking when they allowed her to perform this little number??? This must of been a joke of some kind. Maybe Kim G impersonated Danielle's girl friends to encourage her to go out there and make an ass of herself??

I have no words and dont know where to begin since I could only watch 10 seconds of it before the cheese was dripping down my puter screen with vapors of ASS!!!!!

Enter at your own risk peeps. I dont have any workers comp insurance if you become ill and convulse.


Fillipino Queens Watching Miss. Universerve Pageant Lose Their Shit!!

First of all, I want to know if there is a forced strict wardrobe requirement when you are watching this pageant show. White tees?? I would think these guys would be sporting ascots and martini's for such an event.

These guys nearly shit their pants in anticipation while supporting their country and when she is finally picked..they literally pass out after having seizures of the pageant kind.

This is too fricken funny..

Sunday, August 22, 2010

UK XFactor - Mercy

This is too hysterical and I am wondering how come I dont have access to this show!!

Another great performance by a highly trained opera singer who really hits it home while singing the song "Mercy"

She couldnt of sang a better song with a better title since Mercy is what is required when watching..

Is it me or does she have her own built in Auto-Tune? Is that natural?

***UPDATE*** I guess I wasnt the only one hearing auto tune in the video. Turns out XFactor is guilty of overlaying the AutoTune to hide the fact that they only attract talentless acts!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

Big Brother 12 Lane Diddling In The Shower

This is why I should be paying for live feeds. Lane takes his daily shower and tries to convince the audience that he is spending 2 minutes cleaning out his ears with his left hand while his right hand is in hiding..

When your body is shaking from the right handed movement and your head tilts back in an orgasmic state, and you become real still.. I think its safe to assume that Lane is Rubbing One Out..

Now I know what my sons are doing in the long ass showers they take.. Going on a pines sol raid in the tub.. brb

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Rescuing Sloths NOT THE GOONIE KIND!!

Ok, the only thing I know about "Sloth's" are from the movie "Goonies" and he was a nightmare until we eventually fell in love with him.

I wanted to adopt Sloth the newly annointed Goony and bring him home and feed him icecream. He could bark that sound he makes all day as long as he protects me from harm and haters on Twitter.

VBS takes us behind the scenes of the Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica to meet some of the residents and their "mommies."

Ok truth be told.. I just stole that previous statement from OMGBLOG

These are orphaned babies and I want to adopt one!! Oh, better, I want to go to Costa Rica and provide my services to the sweet face babies who will give me unconditional love regardless how much I drink..

Oh just a side note.. if I had to identify with one sloth from the video.. I would be Delilah. Pulling the blanket over your head was invented by me. Dont look at me!!! I is tired!! I have no makeup on!! My head hurts from too much vino last night!!! BRIGHT LIGHTS!! BRIGHT LIGHTS!!

McNuggut Rampage.. I Am Innocent!!!

Ok, I know most of you peeps have seen this video... but I have to explain myself..


That cashier was busting my balls and deserved it. When I asked for fries.. she asked me how would I like that to hurt. When I said huh?? Some other guy said.. she means would you like that to hurt now or later. I had no clue what they were talking about and just wanted my 5 pound burger slathered with pickles wit sauce, lettuce, cheese on a sesame seed bun.. with my jumbo upgraded fries and a wait.. wait.. diet coke.

Hey!! I WANT IT MY WAY!!!!

So I cut a bitch..


I must be the most cynical person out there but I cant help it.  I laughed so hard at this video and like hard.. FOR 3 HOURS!!!  I have the most loudest laugh that I had neighbors that knocked on my door to make sure that I was not being tortured by a tickling session.  Seriously!!  I hate being tickled and if you are bigger than me or chasing me trying to tickle me, I will cut ya. 

Tell me this is not funny..
Update: Ok I posted the wrong link.. here is the Scooter Fail.. The next video is just some kid who got caught on camera scratchin his balls.. lmaoo

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Erin Markey Does Brittney

Erin Markey beat me to the punch.  I had already decided to throw down a video of me making my great impersonation of Britney singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time" but now its futile.

Instead of me donning my vocals gymnastics, I will instead let you watch Erin.  The head jerks are the funniest..

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