Man Thinks He has Headache.. But A Rusty Memory..

Who the hell in their right mind has rediculous never lasting gobstobbing headeaches and checks them selves in a hospital to eventually find out they got an affliction.. Called.. I GOT STABBED IN THE BRAIN AFFLICTION!!!

Geezus knive on brain and call me a stupid arse fuke.

Ok.. Stabbed in brain. check

Got migraines.. check..

Scored Pills on da street.. no help.. check

Slapped my baby mama's.. check

Had an XRAY.. check

Ur killin me!!!

Ugh

The Rose.. A Cover By A Special Peep

HEY!! I am not judging and am promoting the "Don't Hate" .. but

God Bless Her Heart..

I mean it.. for real!!!

Keenan Cahill Fist Pumps All Night Long With DJ Pauly D

If you peeps haven't seen this YouTube sensation Keenan Cahill, you have been missing out on the new lip syncing gnome who has some serious facial expressions and passions in his video's. 




Notice the lil dudes T-Shirt.  He is freakin adorable and I just want him to set him on my lap and pinch his cheeks..   his face you turds..

I am dying to know how old this lil dude is and what does his parents look like that spurned this little love muffin.

If you want to view Keenan's entire YouTube channel.. select HERE

For his twitter account.. here is the link..  http://twitter.com/KeenanCahill

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Robert Michelson called 911 to ask how much trouble he could get into for his pot plant.

Life is like a bunch of chocolates, you never know who makes the chocolates with home grown pot!!

DOI!!!!!!!

Um.. This Is Funny?

YES IT IS DAMNBIT!!!

Do I even need to enlicist an interpretor to translate??  Can we already assume what they are somewhat talking about and what the reaction to the 'Oprah' Style interviewer is thinking?? or whats running through his head?

Ok.. be serious now peeps.. How many did you actually laugh..  HAH!!  UR ALL GUILTY!!

The Brawl Now Continues at Ihop!!

I think their is a conspiracy here. I think the same group of people are going from restuarant to take out and staging these nortorious fights to be Youtube stars!!!

Why Didnt I think of that first??? Details here

More Displays of KLASS At Chuckie Cheese!

I love the view of the woman half holding a baby trying to git in on the action. KLASSY!!!!

Turns out the fight started with one man's 2 baby mama's!! That will teach you to dip your stick in 2 different places..

Juice Head Deluxe!!!

My Mr Man works out at the gym and when I showed him this commercial, he nearly died laughing. He comes home and tells me stories all the time about people who just lift and dont do cardio and how bulked up they are and always wondering if Roids are involved. He can't stop talking about the mannerism's and he truly believes that this commercial says it all..

"I pick things up and put them down"

Did you see that guys calf??

Ever Had An Itch You Couldnt Scratch?

This has to be the smartest horse I have ever seen.  I have seen humans lean up against a door or wall to scratch a back but I had no clue the horse's are just as smart as my brothers..  things that make you go hmmm

Recombobulation

Ok I been in my share of airports.. the pat downs.. the anhiliation of it all  OH THE HUMANITY!!  Truly is sucks but.. I have never seen an area like in an Milwaukee airport the total has as area for 'Recombobulate!


Recombobulation'!!  For Real??  so you get ur pat down.. your made to undress.. you show or let ur junk be felt up.. and now?!?!??!  You get a place to get recombobulation??  I want to smoke what they are smoking.. 

Ok an urbans dictionary of the meaning..  here we go..

1. To put something back the way it was, or into proper working order


2. To gather one's thoughts or composure

Does that give you any indication on how wrong this action is?!?!?!  I see a need to let people regroup.. but how amazing is it that you have too?!?!?
 
So lets all just approve of this sexual unleashing of the staff to grope, feel us up, and just get a woodie on our behalf. 
 
I AM NOT A FAN!!!!

The Family

A kindred spirit sent this to me via twitter and I think it sums it all UP!!!

This picture can apply to ANY family and mostly the twitter family as of late. You can follow me on twitter @ImaJustSaying

Thank you my extended azz family @TweetinGrandma shmooches..

Baby Charlotte "No No"

I have squeezed out a few babies in my lifetime for better or for worse.. but this shweet face baby is one you just can't stop staring at and talk to her ALL day!! 



That face is too much for me and I have many questions to ask this Charlotte.  I interrogate my grandkids all the time and you have no idea what a calm voice and careful questioning can loosen the lips from the wee lads and lasses.  My son knows that he can not keep ANY secrets from me since his son is so inlove with me and my candy stockpile that I can sway that 4 year old into telling me ANYTHING!!!!

Babies are the BOMB!!

The Homeless Man With the God Given Voice

Whoo knew??  Not me until I watched this video of this enterprising man who is pimpin his skills for anyone who would read his placard and just stop!!!  HAMMER TIME!! 



Again.. second chances..  LET OUR PEOPLE GO!! and lets just give second chances to people who have made bad decisions who have talents and let them have the ability to redeem themselves and forghetta about employing themselves to getting off public assistance and getting a job.  Sounds simple??

This man looks nothing like his voice and his voice is a gift from baby Jesus. 

Turns out this video was shot from a news show and he is now given many offers of employment and I just say..  GOOD FOR YOUR YOU MAN WITH A FACE THAT DOES NOT MATCH YOUR VOICE!!

Praise employers and the ability to see talent..  PRAISE THE RADIO BUSINESS SINCE THEY CANT SEE!!

Let Me Tail You Something

"The People Of Walmart" is the gift that keeps on giving and Walmart is a gift from baby Jesus!



When does someone not know when there is a Walmart breeze on your azz and who wouldnt be conscience of plumbers butt when your sporting a tail?  What US location does this tail sporting pants on the ground perp hail from?  Is it the water they are drinking?  It is genetic?  It is a spooky small town issue where all the town folks sport tails while dancing nekkid after lapping milk from a bowl and howling to the full moon?

Inquiring minds gotta know!!

Another post from People Of Walmart has another hybrid of a human.



I am wondering if this woman (or man?) hails from the same town as the tail man above where their breasticle's grow on their back or their feet are just backwards.. someone splain...  Do they make back bra's or some other kind of support to lift and seperate?

Hey.. I'm just saying...

Baby Rockin to Florence and The Machine

Have to gotta love me sweet baby face hard rocka's.  This poor sweet nuttin of a bugga eatin, diaper crappa, let me eat some shmashed food kinda kid has some serious Rock N Rollin kind of genes. Not the jeans kind so let me splain. 

This kid wants his music, Florence and The Machine, and dont mess with him when he dont get it!!  He really lets you know when he is unhappy and you have no other alternative to provide this sweet face child with the happy sounds he requires and deserves.  I think we have a real head banger on our hands and I am askeared.  I have visions of clown makeup painted on the sweet babies face and some illegal substances at hand.

I KID I KID!!!  nope I dont, I dont..

Insanity At A Subway!!!!

This is your brain on drugs... or maybe vats of alcohol, but watching this scene play out above.. I thought of ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY that was gonna happen..

DON'T TASE ME BRO!!!!!

Just as I was thinking that.. in come the shield carrying brigade armed with tasers slung over their wrists like big ol shotguns...

This guy was such a dipshit.  He was acting all so tough that he even beat up a telephone.

In the end..  he did as I expected.. cried like a baby and nearly sucking his thumb asking for his banky...

 

Woman Solves Wheel of Fortune Puzzle With One Letter

This is just crazy stuff plucked out of a "Good Feeling About It"!!

This woman has identified the first letter "L" in the 7 word phrase and then just decided to solve the puzzle.  Amazeballs..

I bet she was one of those kids in school who had those tight braided pigtails, perfectly clean shoes and white bobbi socks and a plaid skirt who never slouched or picked her nose who raised their hand for EVERY question.

I hated kids like that..

I prefer my Wheel Of Fortune in the casino's where I am a little over zealous, fueled by free watered down cocktails and just waiting for the slot machine to loudly applaud and scream.. WHEEL.. OF.. FORTUNE!!!  while the wheels spins and spins and everyone is looking at me and I am doing the happy dance!

Chuck Norris

Someone sent me a Tweeet today that I should Do a Google search for

"Where is Chuck Norris"

and click on the first option

These are the results you may get:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.



No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.


Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

• Run, before he finds you
• Try a different person

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I thought I had too much time on my hands....

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap Episode 6

Well my reality show junkie friends.. we got a guest blogger to recap the new episode and I do love this brand of SHNARK!!!

Sunday nights just got a whole lot better, people. What better way to end the weekend than sitting in front of the ladies from Atlanta? Let's jump right in with Miss Kim. Kimmy Kim Kim. We know you want to be Lady Gaga. We get it. We even have a great name for you - Duchess OMG. Imagine the air kisses you can share with the Countess! Shut the front door! But sweetie, it's just not gonna happen. That's not to say you aren't going to be the best Kim Zolciak ever. We believe you can do it. We're just not with you on the singing thing.

Click Here to Read More fantastic rhetoric from our guest blogger

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Preview

Ok My Reality Junky Friends..  Here is a thread to spew all our shnarks and rants on the Real Housewives Of Altanta tonight at 10:00 PM!!

I hope to have a recap tomorrow of the show by a mystery guest blogger. 

I'm Baaaaack!!!!!

Sorry Peeps.  I have taken a break and will do my best to update more often since I have included more fiber in my diet to be more regular. 

For my cyber friends.. please comment in any fashion that suits you.

OK OK!! I have taken some time off

I have been in FLorida for a more than a few weeks visiting my daughter and her family. 

We went to Disney..  Magic Kingdom and Epcot. 

Ok  a few stories.. 

First off it was a birthday month for both my grand children.. yeah yeah.. I am that old..  soo..  for my wee grandaughter, she had an appointment for the grand salon, Bippity Bobbity Doo!!  Yeah Yeah.. if your old like me, I have no idea what the was until now.  It turns out that Disney found a new way to make money to elicit kids/parents to look like a female Disney Character and make a million.  Well hell yes my daughter bought into the whole shabang and was a bit shmerter.  She got a great costume off of ebay that is worthy of 100 bucks for 15 buckaroonies.  I was SUPPOSED to go with them to the Bippity Boppity Boo chit.. but lord. I traveled for 2 days in a BMW SUV were the passenger seat didnt even recline.. NO SHIT!!  my son in the back seat had no room since Mr Man packs for the apocalypse and I am sure that if we were caught up in something like War Of The Worlds.. we had enough Oatmeal, cheeses, and other chilled fruit in a cooler that housed all his super foods, power bars and all the essentials to power this man to the next city and hotel. I was in awe.  Yes.. he was regular.  Me not so much..  I failed to eat the magic food.

Soo.. back to Driving to Florida ..  We stopped to rest and I was exhausted sitting erect in a car for so many hours.. sleeping in a hotel that took me back to the movie "Vacancy".  I kid you not.. the pool was like WTF.  empty and a lounge chair in the deep end and in the deep end a shallow water of green who who the heck peed in it and ran? 

I instructed all my fellow passengers to just leave all pillows and blankets in the car to not allow any bed bugs or other critters to latch on.  I said three hail marys and what the holy fuck for a good measure.  Bless me father since I am not a proponet for poor sacks who have to reside in these types of dwellings and now I am one of them.  Where the fuck can I redeem my Marriott points!!!

Ok I cant lie.  I started drinking way before the hotel stay.  Lets say 150 miles prior.  By the time I got under the who what covers...  I didnt feel so awful.. Mr Man looked at me like I was a strawberry on top of the cheesecake.  Lord I was flattered...  I certainly obliged.. I now feel more dirty then when we first started and all I had was a toof brush via morning.

I sawear it was the wine that I was sippin out of a jar that travelled so long that was wrapped by an ice bag deep in a thermos bag. I do travel well I must say..

Needless to say.. I arrived safe and sound to my daughters and as you guessed I was not killed.  I dont want to be that famous.  I already am sorta famous.. but dont need that much notoriety.. (hehe)

Ok so we arrived finally in time to only turn around and drive another few hours to arrive to our final destination for a kids birfday weekend and I am done.  No fork needed.  OF COURSE I AM NOT GOING TO THE BIBBITY FUCK SALON!!!  I AM TIRED!!

Forgive me father since I am a lush and just hung over..

Here is the proof of the Bippitty Boppitty Boo with the sweet face LoreLai. 

Isnt she the cutest thing you have ever seen!!!  Now you know why I havent blogged in a looong time.  With a sweet baby like that.. who would??  All my time was marveling over this sweet lass with her smile from ear to ear and just wondering how I am gonna smuggle her out of the Florida home.. Dang.. I failed but all I got is these pictures..

My other Floridian sweet face baby boy Billy. 

Can you believe this tank above JUST turned 4 years old?  This kid is huge and weighs more than me.  (I wish)

My Sweet Baby Patrick

Ok for Twattering purposes.. I am posting this pic for my twattering friends.. Ignore of your not interested.

As a back story.. I dont twat from phone so I dont have that ability to upload pics.. SORRY!!! 

Glee Inspired Emmy's Opening

Alright, I wasn't going to post this video since I thought EVERYONE watched the Emmy's and as I found out this weekend.. nope.. its not true..

I spent time with my brother and his wife this holiday weekend when I tried to engage them in conversation regarding the Emmy's opening number and guess what.. THEY DIDN'T SEE IT!!!

RIGHT???? Thats what I was thinking... TURDS!!!!!!

When you have HUGE nominees like Mad Men and Glee with a host who graces us like Jimmy Fallon, I thought for sure that EVERYONE WOULD WATCH??

So for a few of you turds who have no culture in todays TV, here is the clip of the opening scene for the Emmy's.

Betty White was a fantastic cameo but I have to say.. Don Draper in anything but a suit and a ciggarette hanging from his mouth.. is still sexy.. loved the hippity hop.

If I was Betty White, I woulda slapped that ass.

One last note.. why is Hurely (from Lost) still over weight?? Isnt he eating nuts and berries on that Island?? That to me is a recipe for massive diarrhea which is a diet from the gods..

PS.. Turn the volume on high so you can rock out to my next husband

Tween Does Katy Perry, With Serious Eyebrows!!

Who doesn't love a tween who is imitating life on earth in the art of music as the best as can be??? Yep.. he is doing Katy Perry. This wee tween with a simple look and a stare.. left and right jerks makes this song even more bearable for me.

I am now so wanting more from the young lad who has the skills of arching brows, shifting head left and right and mostly!!! Putting his silvered enamored fists under his chin for more cheese!!!

SOME ONE GIVE THIS BOY A SHOW!! He is everything PereZ wanted to be but FAILED!!!

Realy, doesnt he look like the kid in "Jerry Maguire" with updated glasses and lost the blonde DOO??

GIVE ME MORE GIVE ME MORE!!!

Please god.. make him do Britney!!!

Please make sure you watch the entire video.. It gets more and more entertaining.. I SAWEAR!!!