The Scoop On Seman

Via: Online Schools

I'm Just Saying...

We Got 2 Feet Of Snow

I'm Just Sharing...

Old Spice Commercial - The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

This commercial is my latest obsession.. 

The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

This commercial I can watch 10 times over and fricken love this guy.  He has the face thingy going on and I could look at his arms and chest all day..  My man is definitely not him and now I want him to be..

Look at your man.. now look at me..
Look at him..
Now look at me..
Looke at him..
Now look at me..

He's not me

I DIE!!!!



I'm Just Saying...

Canadian Female Hockey Players Celebrate On The Ice.. Oh My!!

Oh lord... here we go.  The Canadian Hockey female players who won the game with the US is in deep doo doo for celebrating on the ice with.. wait...  wait.... wait.. wait..

 CHAMPAGNE, BEER AND CIGARS!!!!

Lord have mercy!!!!     This is an atrocity!!!!  Someone get the paddle and ensure they feel like bad girls!!! 

SPANK!!  Dont ever celebrate on the victory ice.. 
SPANK!!  Dont ever drink and shmoke and a pancake..
SPANK!!  Dont ever look like you are too proud of yourselves.. 
SPANK!!  Why are you drinking Canadian Champagne??  That stuff taste like piss!!!!

If there is anything here to take as a lesson..  is Canadian wine/champange.. its disgusting by all accounts!!  They never won an olympic for that skanky stuff!!!

I'm Just Saying..   (snark)

Nigel Farage Harangues EU President Herman van Rompuy

This is good stuff!  Is this how they bitchslap in the UK???  How polite actually which is not my style.. I would just rather call a bitch a catty whore but who am I?

Nigel -
"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."

Me -
"You filthy ho, you aint got no game and your momma dresses you funny"

Check out this tirade wich is cringeworthy and teaches us all a lesson in deserving the biggest bitch slap while keeping it clean..

Rosie's Blog - I GET A SHOUT OUT!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!

I finally got answered by Rosie on her blog and I didnt even ask a real question!!!

SO WHAT???  WHO CARES????

CONFETTI!!!!!!

I DIE

Ricky Gervais Show

This is going to be my new obession.. Listening to Monkey News and having a laugh with Ricky!! This show is genius and my brand of a laugh!!!

These characters are too much. Someone had the genius idea to add animation to the podcast and put on HBO. Very Hanna Barbara like type cartoons but totally enhance the radio show. Listening to Ricky crack up laughing gets me going.

Let me know what you guys think..

Ep. 1 - Karl Discusses Extra Senses

Ep. 1 - Karl and Reproduction

Heres a longer clip of the first epidsode, audio is not that great but you can still hear..



MONKEY NEWS!!!!



A Monkey in space... to friggin funny..

Dan Deacon & Liam Lynch - Drinking Out of Cups

WTF??? What the hell is this Zig Zag Man talking about?? Is he on Electric Kool Aid?? I would know.. since I asked all those questions to myself before ingesting that sugar cube and eye drops. I am now blind and now can no longer speak since my vocal chords feel like Battery Acid. Help me to understand the words coming out of his mouth. 

I need an intervention of the Blue Microdot Kind..     My mind is a bit Hazy and cornfused..  My mind is a bit Looney Tunes listening to Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds..   on repeat. 

I now see Trails with this video and wondering if the Pearly Gates are near.. 

I need a Mind Detergent to get out of this funk...




I'm just saying..

The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name

I havent had much inspiration these past few days for posting...

Maybe its the Vino pickled brain laying its head on a pillow watching all these movies back to back.. but I did hear this song in one of the movies I downloaded..  (teehee).

Anywho.. I became obsessed with this song last year, or maybe it was the year before that.. but I would always tell my kids.. MY NAME IS NOT MOM!!!  After hearing mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom all friggin day.. I decided I wanted to change my name faster than I change my grandsons diapers which I wonder what the hell are they feeding him!!!!  I would rather smell dog doo!!!!!

I kid you not..

Enjoy.



THATS NOT MY NAME!!!

Jimmy Dean Commercials

Ok.. I like the Jimmy Dean take on not getting your greased up fueled injected power brain for the hang over.  but these are really good..



And This one..



And this one..



And this one..



And this one..

This is my ultimate favorite commerical.. This one cracks me up to a point where I choke and cough..  Phatooie!!!

 

I want to be the lightenting and thunder person!!  I got too many peeps who I want to wrack hell on and make their lives miserable!!!  Its my goal in life and peeps deserve the hell of wrath..

I'm just saying.....

I Am Still Snowed In

This is my sweet baby grandson Patrick.  He is here to show you peeps that the snow has not yet melted and now you can compare a 3 year old to the mile high snow mounds.  Look at my mail box.  The mail man has stopped delivering and thank god!!!  No more bills and promises of winning a million dollars in the Publishing Clearance House Sweepstakes!!  I am tired of getting me sorry ass off the couch to troll to the mailbox thinking

I will be movin on up!!  To the east side,.. to the deluxe apartment.. in the skyyyy ighhhh..  

sigh..

We are getting more snow Monday AND Tuesday!!!  Someone throw me a frickin rope!!!

Aint he a cutie???

I'm just saying...

Real Housewives Of New York

Okay.. since my posting of Kelly Bensimone and her wayward tattas..   I have found some other snark about her infamous lopsided boobs.  This pic is exactly what I was looking for when trying to show you peeps these crazy ass boobies!!  This guy is a genius!!!

Each boob looks like its afraid of each other and trying to escape in her armpits..  what a boob

I'm not the only one who is just saying....

Valentines Day

I'M JUST SAYING...

Happy Valentines Day You Turds!!!

Happy Valentines Day you Turds!!! Okay Okay.. for you peeps who want the sappy sticky useless rhetoric that comes out of Valentines Day.. Here is more of the DIVINE Miss M!!! If you want some Huggin and a Squeezin and some Muggin and some Teasing.. well then this is the song for you desperate peeps. I myself like to get right down to business with out all the come hither stuff. I'm a business woman ya know....



I'm just saying...

I Am Snowed In

This is the front of my home... It sucks..  My bushes are so SOL  I am sure I have dig them up and make them fire wood for sure..

We had snow.. then snow.. then SNOW!!!  ENOUGH!!! 

This is my back yard. especially my garbage cans..

Well the further look to the left is my other garbage cans.. they are burried..  The one you see is right outside my back door.  The dog take care of the level of snow around there. snicker snicker..

Ok my issue tonight is that if you look beyond the trees...  all my garbage cans are burried and I am now stockpiling garbage bags in my house trying to figure out how to store the garbage and how to make sure its on the curb for pickup..

Last night.. we had 2 cans outside the back door that was collecting recycables..  I am a huge recycable person so it had to go so we can free some room to do more..  I asked my youngest son to take the cans to the curb..  I live on a corner so it is very strategic since I dont put cans on the driveway.   Mr Man had the greatest idea to put them on the driveway... this called for some stratic manuvering..   Mr Man elected to help bring the cans through the house onto the front porch so my young boy could drag to the end of the driveway.. GENIUS!!!  Ok dont tell him that.. it would be bad me and me seething..

So here we are today.. garbage stockpiling with a bunch of cans burried.. which kid has the task to burry them out?  Which kid is gonna drag those cans through the artic???  Which kid is not gonna complain and just do the deed?

Lord help me in this post blizzard mess..

I'm just saying..

Real Housewives Of New York

March 3rd PEEPS!!!  and I cant wait.. I am so sick of the OC ladies.  They are so superficial and boring.  All blonde, fake boobs and lips.  They are like stepford cookie cutter type woman who are full of themselves.  I guess its the West coast thingy that rubs me the wrong way..

Now.... we got city goils coming on a new season and I cant wait!!  This season we get to see Bethany and Jill go at it, Alex finally stick up for herself....more bashing of Kelly whose boobs point in opposite directions.. have any of you guys noticed that?? 

Does it not look like they are chasing each other away?  Having a contest on who can escape this crazy broads body first?

Check out the promo's for the season and you will also start jonesing for the season to begin.. Mark your calendars folks!!!

Old Men With Manboobs Do Micheal Jackson

Ok, this is pretty impressive.  Three old geezers perform Micheal Jacksons hit song Billy Jean with the enthusiasm of middle aged peeps.  These guys move faster than me and get more applauds.  I should just hang it up now and move into the dreaded nursing home so I can have more fun.

Jimmy Fallon Takes On Valentines Day

Jiimmy Fallon  AKA Robert Pattinson demonstrates what is wrong with Valentines Day.  I really think my Mr Man totally wrote this skit since I have NEVER received a Valentines day card, flower, candy or even the lame kitchen appliance!!  I have decided not to buy him anything or even acknowledge the day and see what he does.. This will be a fun day,..

Survivor Heroes VS Villians Tonight!!

Tonight is the night Peeps!!!!  Heroes VS Villians is gonna be a blast!!!

Jersey Shore On Ellen

More friggin hilarity ensues on Ellen with more Jersey Shore game shows!!  I dont think I can ever get enough of these peeps and I think they have longevity in TV.  They are not a flash in the pan and provide us with daily entertainment that makes me tinkle.  Check out this latest LOL clip.

NJ Unemployment Is Broke!!

Mr Man was climbing the stairs then quickly had a thought he needed to share with me.  He informed that NJ Unemployment Fund is Bankrupt.  I gave the usual nod to let him know that I was listening and he just stared at me.  I thought he had more to add but then he looked at me and said.. 

 "That means they don't have any more money"

I had that look again on my face like WTF??  Then he said..

"Do you understand?

OMG..   So many things wanted to spew out of my foul acerbic biting mouth and just decided it was too early for me to inform him that I understood big words...

I'm just saying...  (with lips tightly closed)


]

Weather Forcast... SNOOOOWWWWWWWW

Weatherman Freaking Out Over DC Snowpocalypse
by

This is exactly what is happening to me and this is exactly how I feel!!  I need more emotional weather peeps to express the same frustration as I have!!   My backyard looks like the inside of all of Hollywoods nostrils!!!!

I have plenty of milk, bread, eggs and batteries for BOB.  I feel like a wilderness gal who cant even open the doors due to snow drifts and I am afeared for the animals in the barn.  Yes, I mean the kids..  I may have to let them back into the cabin with the warm wood burning stove with my pantaloons heating up over the stove so I can have a toasty ass.  Laura Ingalls lives next door and Pa is gonna help shovel me out due to the fact that my kids are locked in the barn since they act like such animals.

I got up early today to let Riley the dog out.. He got very excited.. I opened the back door.. he went to do his bunny rabbit thing he does and stopped short of the blistering wind and knee deep snow.. he just looked at me like "How the frig and I gonna pee in that marshmallow mess?"


I laughed and said ok.. lets go out front were there is a porch and I will take one for team. So we did and then he ventured into the bushes and fell into the snow up to his hips.. He stopped.. FROZE and then squatted I think cause I couldnt see anything.. came running back inside and his eyes told me he had to do more but was afeared. I then told him lets try the back yard again.. So we did.. This time he was a bit more adverturous since his boy bits were already stuck to his hind leg in a frozen stance...

He decided to have fun in the snow and jumped around like a bunny rabbit trying to find his stinky familiar smells... but to no avail.. decided he had enough... back to the warmth of his Linus banky..

Good dog.. bad kids... I choose the dog..

The Crying Wife

http://cryingwife.com/

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a looooong time.  The brazen husband has movie night with his wife and it appears when ever she sees a happy or sad movie, she bawls like a baby for quite some time and he cant contain his laughter.  He even got the nerve to film her and prod her with questions for the ending while she is sniveling and inaudible that you yourself cant contain your laughter. 

She even cries to Star Wars and Back To The Future.  Her husband now has a library of videos capturing her insane reactions to movies.  Now, he has filmed the reaction to Marley And Me and I also bawled my eyes out on that one.  I had a golden lab which I had to put down and had to catch a flight the next morning.  Needless to say, I never slept, cried all night didnt even dress for work and got on the plane in sweats and big sunglasses.  Got off the plan went straight to my hotel to lie down and apply cold compresses to my face to reduce the swelling.  I swore I would never get another dog again since my work was unable to be sypathetic with me.  TURDS.  So I give her a pass on that movie.. 

Check out her reactions and btw.. he finds her reactions cute and adorable.. He is not such a furry rat bastid after all. 

A Good Solid Safety Rope is Essential

This is a demonstration video which clearly.. demonstrates... That you do indeed need a good solid safety Rope..  AND.. a good grip.. 



I am going to heck..

CNN Anderson Cooper Is Not A Fan Of Snookie

I really thought since Anderson Cooper is a big fan of Real Housewives of Atlanta, that he would love The Jersey Shore. 

Well based on the following video, Mr Hotness is not so thrilled with the Jersey Shore peeps.  He is also not so thrilled with Snookie.  I am not so sure if he is trying to stear clear of the contravery or he just has an aversion to big hair, fist pumping and pickles..

I'm just saying..

My Sleeping Habits Disturb Mr. Man

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE

I had a rough night sleeping last night.  The wee Grand Baby woke me up a few times in the middle of the night and I could not get back to sleep.  Nothing like the hard shake on the shoulder of a wee child saying.. Grandma..  GRANDMA!!!  I was sleeping on the couch and the wee child wanted to tell me that my TV show was over.. LIKE 10 TIMES!!!  I think he wanted to watch one of his kid friendly shows.  It was 1:30 A.M. in the friggin morning!!!

 I tried really hard to go back to sleep but with all my hormonly issues..(Is hormonly a word??  It is to me!)    I tossed and turned with the sweats and the chills and the sweats and the chills.. over and over again..   There should be no shortage of water if they sipphoned off my body in the middle of the night...  (DUNE!!) 

Anyway..

I was up most of the night and early this morning I decided to take a nap.  Mr Man came upstairs to retrieve something, woke me up..  (yes he did, I get no sleep) and informed me that if I wanted to continue sleeping, I should not stretch across the bed or lay in the middle of the bed when he returned from his workout in the gym when he would stretch out and diddle on his puter and maybe watch some news. 

I picked myself up and just looked at him. 

I wondered.. how do I control myself in my sleep due to his liking?  How do I maintain my menapausel moments in deep REM sleep and keep this man happy?  Why the fuck did he wake me up??? Why am I asking myself so many questions that I can not even answer?? 

 I found there was this low gurgle in my throat, had this WTF look on my face and just looked at this man who was serious as a heart attack.  I DO NOT LIE!!

  I asked him to repeat himself so I understood him better with  a look on my face that he saw too many times and he gave me that look like holy shit.  She is gonna trap me into something I said but I have no clue what I said.. 

He is not a Christain but I saw him suddenly pray to Jesus for a way out of this conversation and also praying for holy water and some garlic cause I was gonna get all midieval on his ass and I wasn't letting go.  I prodded and poked and he tried to justify himself but I wanted a true explanation in the only way he could explain it to the menapausal woman of the world that I am and I was waiting with folded arms across my chest..in a hurrummppp.  

  He just stood there in fear and finally his arms fell hard on the sides of his body, he sighed..   lowered his head and had that look of defeat. 

Ahhh.... my work was done..

Moral to the story.. don't fuck with a woman's sleep when she is "Menapausaly" and think you would live to tell the story..   admit defeat and move on...

I'm just saying..

Jimmy Fallon Takes On Glee

Jimmy boy did it again.  Now that our series of Real Housewives of Late Night is over, Jimmy is now giving us new stuff and Glee couldnt be a better choice. 

Ch Ch Check it out!!

Jersey Shore on The Today Show

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

FIST PUMPS ALL ROUND TO THE NEW SEASON!!!  WHAT EVER SHORE IT MAY LAND ON!!!  They do have to find a new name for the program thou.. if not in the Jersey Shore..

I Am Opening My Own Bakery

This is the featured item of the day..

I DIE!!

 And Died.. and died and died until I had no more breath.. 

I'm just saying..

School House Rock

Oh lord have mercy.. since watching Rosie's "I Am Free To Be You And Me" inpired by new documentary "A Family Is A Family Is A Family" has me really thinking.. and now I want to take you all down memory lane...

Conjuction Junction.. Whats Your Function... Wohoo!?!?!  What does that mean?  I have to many things in my mind.. Let me know if you want to know what that is.. 



Schoolhouse Rock- How a Bill Becomes a Law
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEJL2Uuv-oQ&feature=related
Schoolhouse Rock "Interjections!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkO87mkgcNo&feature=related
SchoolHouse Rock - Figure Eight
http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=7632861368011819438

Schoolhouse Rock - A Noun is a Person, Place or Thing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2iLAI0gUW0
Schoolhouse Rock - Three-Ring Government
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5I2KFENjS8&feature=related
Schoolhouse Rock - Mother Necessity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V18e0o1NpA4&feature=related
Schoolhouse Rock - Telegraph Line
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTwASnQ3S6Y&feature=related
Schoolhouse Rock - Tax Man Max
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POjRqJDvAjk&feature=related
Schoolhouse Rock - Three is a Magic Number
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxmKRyLdBho&feature=related
Schoolhouse Rock - Ready or Not, Here I Come (5s)
http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=7632861368011819438

Ahhh.. the good ol days of eating cereal in a wee box with milk and thinking how cool was your mother to0 buy all those variety packs.. and watching Saturday morning cartoons infront of the TV while eating those cereal snack boxes and learning a bit about sumpin...

sigh.

A Family Is A Family Is A Family Rosie O'Donnels HBO special

A Family Is A Family Is A Family   an HBO special that should be on more channels..

"Most of the special, which HBO is showing early enough so young children can watch, isn't about gay marriage, and the hot-button phrase itself is never heard. Families of same-sex couples, including O'Donnell's, get maybe five minutes, tucked in the middle of discussions and songs about the importance of families in general. But for many viewers, gay marriage will be the takeaway."


"O'Donnell says she was inspired by the popular 1970s album and TV special Free To Be … You and Me, created by Marlo Thomas. "We took that model and just applied it to family instead of equal rights," explains O'Donnell."  OMG.. I still remember that movie like the day I was in sixth grade and it was a required movie to watch in my progressive school sitting on that blue carpet infront of that stage that was just for 5 classes, smelled that new carpet and paint.. watched the movie and sang to it (cause it was a weekly treat the whole year) (or the teachers wanted a break in the teachers break room that we could see what was going on  ;-)).. waiting for my lunch that would be wheeled around in a lunch cart and was glad that I was not the 4th pod who only got the left overs..   lmaooo


"In your new documentary, kids offer their insights on what family means to them. In one scene, you and your youngest daughter Vivienne talk about your breakup with Kelli. Was there ever a question to include your own family in the project?



There was. The producers asked if they could include my family, but we were in the middle of a transition and I didn't know how it would translate or whether or not it would fit in the project. I wanted to be cognizant of everybody's feelings and emotional state and yet not ignore what was happening. Or exploit it. Vivvi, and all my kids, understand that family is forever, so it worked out."

Children are certainly the intended audience here; Ms. O’Donnell is trying to do for the image of “family” what Marlo Thomas did for stereotypes about boys and girls more than three decades ago with “Free to Be ... You & Me.” But, weirdly, the program tries to expand the definition of family by shoving all sorts of families into the same happy-and-prosperous mold.  Obviosly.. this auther has never seen "Free To Be You And Me" or is a homophobe.. or both... what a turd..

Rosie told the Huffington Post she made the movie to celebrate all the different shapes families can take and show that "each one is valid and deserves recognition from each other and the community and the laws of the land."   YOU GO GIRL!!

A child of the ’60s, O’DONNELL was heavily influenced by MARLO THOMAS’ Emmy Award-winning family doc FREE TO BE…YOU AND ME and, at the recent press event for her show, talked about the impact it had on her. Listen in below:  Good audio  for a Rosie interview on the docu and a great video for the opening song for Free To be You And Me here..  Ahh the old days..



Love her or hate her.. she only cares about the children and their well beings.  Rosie is my hero who made me think more than I did as a woman who is a feminste and someone who cares about children and their well beings.  She made me think how legislation can impact our lives in a way I didn't think about before.  She is fearless and does not make excuses for herself..  and always self discovering..    Rosie is just Rosie and I love her.  We need more Rosie's in this world..

Youtube channel for the whole Free To Be You And Me  movie..
enjoy your childhood or your kids childhood that was so great about our lives in the day,,.

Free To Be You And Me Movie

Part 1  http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/178/gCg9XLb-vHY
Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/177/aDGQgSGHGZ0
Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/167/wSNwxeY09bE
Part 4 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/176/7Wxfd1E7HV8
Part 5 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/155/TS_P2YKZVwc
Part 6 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/175/tvfKh_lxWyc
Part 7 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/174/tHrwcQrY-JM
Part 8 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/173/7LNwUjd0gLo
Part 9 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/172/7bzOB8_8g1s
Part 10 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/157/d6fDtuxqPto
Part 11 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/171/YLesfuXINUw
Part 12 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/164/p3XSs_EOK1g
Part 13 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/170/tZ5fd8__U4A
Part 14 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/165/4kKRPBFno3A
Part 15 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/169/_UbWD3d2NM4
Part 16 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/168/sF98vXamB5E
Part 17 http://www.youtube.com/user/mooncrystle#p/u/163/z7jydxfKcKg

Scott Brown is Every Democrats Fantasy..

double wink  ;-)  ;-)

Senator Scott Brown has been in the news lately, not the same as the early days as a centerfold, but serious news now..    I had no clue he swings both ways!!!!!!

Best line..  "I want to introduce something to the floor. It's called 'Your Panties.'"





Centerfold days...  How does a person who poses nude make himself a Senator?  Wow, I thought with all my indescretions of my yesterday past would come to haunt me but now I no longer have to worry about my strip club days to pay for my college.  Anyone can get into politics!!!!!

RuPauls Dragulator

Yikes.. I forgot to post this last Drag Queen Makover of another blogger buddy Eva. She is an original Jersey Gal who likes to tan and fist pump all night long!! She was lacking in big hair so I had to fix her up:

Eve is all her glamour is truly spectacular!!  Her facebook pic needed some help. 

She paid those kids to pretend they are her beautiful kids...  smart woman..  Now here is her new facebook picture

I also decided to transform Eve back to her original glory days.  Yep.. thats our seet ol Eve looking like snookie from the Jersey Shore... the good ol days..

The Grammy's Lady Gaga and Elton John

I HAVE FREAKIN DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!!! What goose bumps peeps!! Lady Gaga opens for the Grammys and we get a fantastic surprise and appearance by Elton. Ok, my bucket list is finally complete..

Lady GaGa & Elton John at 2010 Grammys
by TheDlisted