Piano Stairs!! This Is How To Get Peeps Thin Folks!

This was a great experiment. Make stairs entertaining and inadvertantly get peeps to walk the pounds off!! Its fun for the whole family and your large arse!!

This should be a bill presented to congress where all stairs should be mandatory in all public places. Maybe for the guys.. nudies of silhouetted females appear as they step on the stairs. For woman, as they step on the stairs, should be pics of men lowering the toilette seat, vacuuming and changing diapers!!! THe woman will get a huge laugh and stair climb at the same time totally optimizing their workout! They both should be called the fantasy stairs in my opinion..

Drunkest Man To Ever Walk!

Ok Okay, I have been out of town and maybe most of you have already seen this video but I couldn't help post and tell a wee story. (spoken with Irish brogue)

I had all the kids in the car coming back from shopping years ago and was cutting through this development when I saw this lad walking almost sideways on the sidewalk and his back was arched so far back while trying to walk forward. Now, I started to slow down and got a bit worried for the young turd and watched from afar to make sure he was okay. I have to say, he was tall and lanky and have never seen a male turd bend so far backwards in a perfect arch and thought maybe he was on drugs or drunk. His legs would stretch out forwards one at a time and each foot had a tough time making the landing.

I now know he was drunk from watching this video and now saw what a drunk looks like walking. (specially if I can't see myself walking in that condition!)

This poor boy below has fallen and can not get up!!!

I'm just saying..




Check out how this blog demonstrates how drunkin peeps are compared to yoga positions. Its a hoot!

http://en.kllproject.lv/people-and-land/yoga-and-drunk-persons/

Baby Dancing The Stanky Legs

HOLY CRAPPOLA!!! This baby got some moves that can put most of these readers to shame! You got to be born with the groove this baby is getting on.

Ch CH Check it out!!

"Don't Stop Believing" An Awesome Cover

If you love Journey, you will love this cover of Don't Stop Believing by this talented kid who sings all the vocals.

I would love to clone myself 5 times for other purposes thou.

1 - To cook like a good mother should
2 - To take care of the Mr Man LIKE I should
3 - To clean the house and rid all the dust mites and critters like I should
4 - To have a clone to wake up the turd for school like I should with a smile
&
5 - To spend more time primping.. or maybe just showering like I shuldda...

I'm just saying..

St Martin Pics Are Here For My Fellow Bloggers!

Okay Peeps, I have some pics for your drooling pleasure. I arrived home last night and had to stop first at Toys R US cause my grandson will not talk to me unless he has the latest Buzz Light Year and the cococut shell necklaces with a dolphin pendant and another with a Shark Tooth will not cut it for a three year old! I called him from the island the other night since I missed his Mickey Mouse voice and he asked me if I bought him a present. I said yes I did sweetie!, he asked.. Is it Yo Gabba Gabba? I said no. He asked is it Sparticus? I said nooooo.. Then he asked.. Is it Buzz Light Year? I gulped.. and said ahh nooo.. The he said.. Okay.. here is dad. My heart sunk and me and Mr Man knew what we had to do. Here is 70 bucks well spent on a sweet babies face below: (Patrick Kevin Gilmore.. AKA Mr Excitement!)






Then Mr Man wanted to stop for fast food and EAT INSIDE and all I can do is think about my bed and sleep! I need to detox in the worst way.

If you squeeze me now, you will get 3 Maitai's. If you squeeze my sister Mona, you will get 4 vokda, club and limes. We are both marinated fruits I tell ya!

Oh speaking of booze!!! Duty free alcohol rocks!! I got tons of liquore's and island rum for a few paso's, Euro's or Guilders! What ever floats your boat! (The island is half French and half Dutch as a P.S.) I have had some of the most amazing food eva!!! While swimming in the pools, I had local woman stringing me up some necklaces for the peeps here at home, Tiger eye set for my mom, Jade for the daughter inlaw and all kind of other funky island stuff for the boys.

I did not get the earring and necklace set from Mr Man that I wanted but I did get this awesome ring. More drooling material below:

Isn't Mr Man the BOMB!!! He totally rocks me rocks!!!! I am collecting quite a collection! I have already decided that if we ever break up.. I am going on Judge Mathis to fight... for my rights.... TO KEEP.. THE JEWELRY!!!!!! Someday I will post a pic of my engagement ring.. it totally rocks!!! Here is a pic of the Mr Man contemplating all the friggin jewlelry stores that we rocked many hours a day. He totally hated it but the main reason was that my sis and her hubby loves to shop for the gems when they go each year. The second reason is that they roll out the red carpet and fill you with exotic beer, wine and champagne and mostly for the island rum that tastes like malt rootbeer. I guess the premise is that they liquor you up to loosen the wallet. The Mr Man knows this and was fighting it toof and nail but he had to finally succump to the evil of a buzz!! That island rum is smooth but hits you upside da head!!





Now some pics of the heavenly place we stayed at with our lovely views...









My sis and her Mr Man.. they are the jewelry magnates who spend a zillion dollars on gems that will make your eyes bleed





Me and Mr Man.. I swear I dont look that fat in real life or I have perpetual wine goggles on..





The Men in their missionary position






Well folks.. it was quite a week with my left foot busted, my right foot inadvertantly scabbed on the heel from a bad pedicure gone wrong, bronchitus.. and what else.. an aversion to the heat!!!! Lo and behold I had a great time and the best part was coming home to the sweet baby grandson who had that amazing face for his new toy and told me atleast 50 times.. THANK YOU GRANDMA!! I kid you not.. he could not be more grateful by the look of his face.. What a sweetie pie! As I said.. money well spent.

In a few weeks I am going to Florida to see my daughter and my other 2 gbabies with my sis again who is my right brain, Mr Man and My 18 year old son Kevin. I will have lots more stories but will post here instead of other sites. I need to chronicle this stuff!!!

I'm just saying...

Glee Sneak Peak For Your Viewing Pleasure

I love love love this freaking show!!! This is like the 70's nightime variety hour show mixed in with a soap opera that I used to watch after school. I love love love this show and I forcefully suggest you all should watch to get the hairs raised off your arms mixed with a wee tear coming down from your wee eyes!!!!

Christen Chenowith was on last week and totally made my hairs stand up and stop breathing! Please peeps.. go .. run.. SET YOUR DVR'S!!!! Glee Peeps!!!




I'm Just Saying...

So Many Men!!! So Little Time!!!

This was the theme song for me the other night when I got all dolled up and went to a big fancy shmancy party and I looked good!!!!!!!!!!

I was surrounded by men and holding court all night. This is the song that keeps ringing in my head. Enjoy!!!!!




And Wonderful Muscles Tooooooooo!!!!

I'm Just Saying.....

K-Fed Topless and Zexy Baby!!!!

This guy was once married to Britney Spears and famous for his hotness? I have a new rap written for him..

GIVE ME A BEAT!!!!

My name is K-Fat, and I wanna say...
My belly is happy and wants to come out and PLAY!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I'm Britneys baby daddy who once was hot...
But now I get paid a ton to watch the tater tots!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I sit on my butt, collecting big fat checks....
Once was a dancer... now I'm just a wreck!!!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

My tats where once small, just a piece of art...
Now they are huge, as if my skin had a big fart!!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I'm going on celebrity fit club, to loose me gut..
Walking to the scale.. I will give my best strut!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

I once smelled manly, hot smells in crystal glass,
Now I reek of chit cause I just cant reach my ASS!!!!!

Oink Oink... Oink Oink...

Boooya!!! My Boo!!

I'm just saying!!!!!









Update: My sister just told me that I must of been drunk when I posted this. Ok I will give her that since when I called her late at night and asked her if she had a few drinks that she should see this post..

I'm Just Saying...

Half Man, Half Animal

This dude is amazing.. He dresses in elaborate body makeup and vogues out in poses showing off his amazing arse. He has a zillion videos and after viewing a few.. it appears he likes to dress as animals with tails? I think he likes tails extending out of his ass. But still he has one amazing ass and I would seriously tap that.

100 Greatest You Tube Hits In 4 Minutes

Spanish PM and Family in Photo Op With Obama's

Ok, I only have one word... AWKWARD!!!!! If I was the PM and his Wife, I would hide these kids in the closet and throw away the Key!!!! Isnt there a rule that kids of politicians should wear cardigans, pearls and plaid skirts?????

Whats up with the black frocks and combat boots? They both have their heads hanging shamelessly low as if they were the only ones in on the joke! Has anyone read the book or seen the movie, Flowers In The Attic? Well this movie now justifies when you lock kids up and feed them poison!




I'm just saying.....

Real Housewives of Late Night

Russia (Thinks) Has Talent

This would of never happened on Simons watch!

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Loses it on Ellen D.

Holy Crap! These.. so called ladies did an appearance on the Ellen show and the whole thing was arguing between Sheree and Kim. Ellens face is priceless and she enjoys the show waiting for the ho's to bitch slap each other. Ch Ch Check it out below...

You Tawk Ta Me!!!!!

Ok.. since I posted the funny or die RHONJ parody below.. I have to post my favorite one for old times sake. I just love to watch it ova and ova again...







I could swear these are my next door neighbors..

I'm just saying...

Ya Friggin Huuu-aaaaarrreeee

Ok, I have seen quite a few funny parodies on the NJ Real HouseTarts.. but this is the latest and greatest... Jamie Lynn Siegler costars and the best Huuaaarreee EVAAAA!!!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey with Jamie-Lynn Sigler from Jamie-Lynn Sigler

You Got A Frog In My Stringbeans!!

No... you got stringbeans in my frog!!!!!!

This poor woman tried to make lunch for her kidlets and found a frog in the bottom of the bowl. Ch Check it out below..

Wedding Entrance!!!

Wow, if this is how the wedding ceremony is, can you imagine the reception? The couple came up with the idea themselves and the party got on board. FANTASTIC!!

Ringling Bros. Beats Elephants

Ok... the Peta Organization can be a bit exteme. Going after Obama for killing a fly truly diminishes their serious work to protect animals.. but this one is too much.. even for a snarkly ol lady like me. My oldest son won't let me kill insects if he can capture them and put them outside... EVEN SPIDERS!!! You should see what we do when he is either sleeping or not around. We capture and stab the insect with a fork and cook it over the stove burner and laugh our asses off at his expense while we chug down beers.

I KID I KID!!!!

Peta went undercover again and uncovered some disturbing video on how the trainers for Ringling Bros actually beat the elephants into submission right before they enter the ring for a performance. Well, I cant really say "into submission" because the elephants are innocently just standing in line thinking mean thoughts for their handlers.

Uh.. I am not a rocket scientist.. but wouldnt that just create angry elephants with a packed house putting the visitors at danger? How many times have we seen circus elephants lose it and trample peeps and we wonder why?

This is really a sad video and makes me want to boycott the circus. Fer reals. And I really like laughing at the clowns fall on their asses and watching peeps volunteer to gallop the horse standing up and only get their head stuck up the horses ass instead. Good times.


Visit RinglingBeatsAnimals.com


I'm just saying...

Grab My Hair and Dry Hump Me

Oh Lord have mercy.. Tie me up and pull my hair!!! I want some young strappling young man to sit on me and dry hump me while he tries to pull my hair.. yeah.. my hair.. the hair that is the gift that keeps on giving... He may know that the curtains dont match the drapes... that I am bald.. I dunno.. Just love me a long time is all I can say.. I love you long time!!!!

Give it to me baby.. nice and slow.. yeah yeah.. thats right.. just there.. NO THERE!!!.. ok cool.. right there....




I'm just saying..

Music That I Can Finally Read

I just composed my first sonnet and I am so proud! I don't think my mother enjoys the melody since she is 72 years old and no longer recognizes the melody as enjoyable.




I'm just saying...

Ellen on the Hawaii Chair

I actually saw this eposide a few years ago and somehow I was finally reminded of this skit. What ever Ellen does.. I cry laughing. I laugh more when she does. Oh!!! Now I remember!!! yesterday she had the game on where she makes peeps dress up in blow up sumu wrestler costumes and make them go after a football. She laughed so hard which made me laugh hard which I then peed my pants.. 5 TIMES!!!!!

Check out the lol's below.

Joke of The Day - "My Duck Is Dead"

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot.. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged,

"I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Larry King on Kimmel

I am not a fan of Kimmel, but I came across this interview and found it completely hysterical. I would like to see more of these kind of stories from Larry. Makes him more interesting to watch. The only time I usually watch is when Kathy Griffin is on. She just runs all over him and totally cracks me up.

Watch below.






fantastic....

I Have No Words For This One