Proposal Video Ahh.. How Come I Didnt Go To Prom??

Wouldnt it of been lovely if your Mr Man has expressed so much love?? 

Now that I think about it.  he is a furry rat bastid that does not deserve clean sheets and a furry pillow.. I know have idea's



Furry Rat Bastid for making me think I dont deserve this.. can we say arsenic in the coffe??  Thank you Nine To Five Ladies.. You got me back!!

Word of the Day... Back Fat

DONT  SPREAD THE WORD!!  You may find a cookie or a dognut.  Yeah I said that.. Dog-Nut. 

Ok this is my biggest nightmare.  Me in a gown whith all me goodies spilling out back.. under me arms.. and out of my strapless gown, While at my daughers wedding..  sigh..  I KNOW I KNOW!!  How many times have u seen that!!??

The woman who fitted me when I complained of back fat said.. huney.. you have no idea and you are certainly ok.    Then I started to compare myself to the woman in the pic and thought..

                                              I AM NOT OK!!!

Who want to compared to woman who have ability to NOT have any kind of back fat??

So I expressed myself with a lovely wrap.. WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD DO!!

My sister on the other hand likes diversions.  She wears a sausage dress that pushes up her boobs so high and out, thats all you can see and say.. HOLY CHIT!!!  DAMN YOU LOOK GOOD!!

My sister prefers to make a handshake with her boobs and all eyes on it.  God Its wrong when you learn a lesson from your baby sister. 

Sigh..

Mr Man is Pissed.. Again.. Early Morn..

This is categorized under WTF.  Mr Man is an aficionado of Oatmeal... Yes peeps you heard me right.  He has lost like 20 pounds pummeling down the gookey food but perfecting his own recipe with protein powder, mashed banana, a secret recipe topped with cinnamon, walnuts and fresh blueberries.  I decided to get on his instant fat burning kick and when he makes his witches brew each morning, he makes me a cute wee bowl in a fancy shmancey glass bowl that was made to present the best of dips to the chips and I am so impressed.

I am already up this morn and he is tasking away in the kitchen making his special special brew and was wishing quietly he used bourbon in lieu of water but shit.. You cant ask for much.

Turns out after making this special brew and setting up all the bowls of the day..  he came to me and asked if the dishwasher was clean.  I was like.. How The fark would I know?? Check the glasses on the top of the rack in the dishwasher.  If they have a pool of water on the glasses.. yep.. they are clean..

HOLY CHIT!!!  SOMEONE CALL 911!!!  I heard weird sounds of oatmeal being slammed into the sink and he peaked around the wall and said.. wait..  "I AM NO LONGER MAKING THIS FOR YOU ANY MORE!!!"

Ok now time to contain my gurgling laughter, must put on a good face.. PLEASE OH PLEASE DON'T LAUGH OUT LOUD!!

I kindly tell the Mr Man.. "its not my fault you didn't use clean dishes..  "  Ok when I said that, I cowarded into the corner and waited.  Waiting to see if he would pull out the magic pot to mix up a new brew. 

As I sit here I don't even know if he is cooking again or scratching his ass with the bloody spoon..

If you don't hear from me in 2 days.. please send a rescue squad.  I may be buried in the garden topped with oatmeal..  Please send donations to my childrens college fund.

Pink More Details On her Concert Tour Abroad

Ok since my last post of Pink, I have checked her tour schedule and cant find anything in my area at all. Actually so far what I see is in Europe and am feeling slighted.  Come on Pinkie Tuscadero and give us some dates for the US.. Ok I am not gonna fly across the country but a  good drive will do. 

More video from Pink which is her peeps and not a purp with a cell phone.. how exciting is this when you are pumped up on alcohol!!  Wait.. did I just say that?  I meant energy.. or um.  chemicals.. that are called.. called.  Shit.. ok u got me.. ALCOHOL!!!

Ok, you naysayers have your field day.. but you all just a bunch of liars and peeps in the closet..

pifft.. 



SHE IS A GODESS!!!!!!

Jimmy Fallen and Bradley Cooper..

Ok who doesnt like some of whipped up Jimmy Fallen especially when he is wearing speedo's on a sunset couch.  I have no idea what I just said.  Anywho..  who doesnt like some Bradley Cooper??  I will do body shots off his navel any day.  Sigh.. my fantasies just take me over.. 

Anyway.. check out this great clip of the duo having fun and now my current fantasies is doing both of them in a twin bed.  Why a twin?  Cause I am going to the cream in the oreo cookie, because they are both STRONG BLACK MEN!!   yeah.. good times..  Chit.. I will let you know how my fantasy turns out and if they are in good company of said porn stars with a LONG history of satisfying..  sigh.   


 
Ok.. I have a confession that I have to see a therapist for.. I first typed Jimmy Kimmel who I dont really like.. WTH???   I see myself laying on a couch in the near future.  Off to spend alot of money and I would think the therapist would give GOOD advice. 

Tortoise Helping Tortoise

If only peeps had my back like the demonstration below.  As I got halfway into this video.. A few thoughts comes into my mind..

"And then a hero comes along,

With the strenght to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive,
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you."



Play the following video for your listenting pleasure why you watch the above video. 

HBO Boardwalk Empire Preview

HOLY SHIT BALLS!!!  This looks freakin amazing!!!  September folks..

Preview Trailer #3

Pinks New Tour Preview

Who wouldnt want to attend this party????  Who is with me!!!



Get your party hats on peeps!!

RH of NY KCS COUGER Parody of the Best Kind!!

I have posted many of these, but somehow this one is SPOT ON!!  You have to laugh out loud on this one.



also, the infamous night on Skeary Island Dinner with laugh tracks.  So worth the rewatch



I die!

So Am I Watching a Masterpiece or is a porno??

So.. i .. dunno... lets watch... ok.. so there..

David Mamet's "Lost Masterpieces of Pornography" w/ Kristen Bell, Ed O'Neill & Ricky Jay from David Mamet

Word of the Day.. NIPPLES!!

What say you??

Im just saying is all.. If I was a wee baby with needs..

What???

Why Oh WHy Do You Have to Spill The Wine??

I had feeling of like licking the ground.. taking a straw to the floor.. or just plain old needing to gather all the lovely liquids that spill to the floor and I dont care if botchulism lived there.. I would totally suck up that shit. Call me what you want. but I am just a thirsty gal..



I am not a person afflicted with Parkinson's. I'm just an alcoholic. I am still shakin looking at all that wasted booze.

I'm just saying..

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

AMEN!!!!!!!



Dag Nabbit.. AMEN!!!

I'm Just saying..

Jersey Shore Parody

This video is genius!! When you mix the beach with Springsteen AND the cast of the Jersey Shore peeps.. you have GENIUS!!

I am just pissed that I didnt get on the show since I have been fist pumping in the shore night clubs since 1979.

Dont the kids of the Jersey Shore need a den mother or something?? Where do I sign up!!




I Die

Betty White and Tracy Morgan - The Latest In Cougar Town

If you cant get enough of either Betty White OR Tracy Morgan, check out this little diddy that memorializes their new relationship hidden by a photo shoot.

I say we campaign to see these two get married.. Face Book anyone??



I Die!

Saturday Night Live - Lord Douchebags!!

Omg.. A blast from the past..



LMAOO

Saturday Night Live Weekend Update

Ok, Some of you know that I have been sporting a really bad muscle pull or something and I cant harldy walk let alone get up out of a chair.  Sleeping has been rough as well.

Last night I forgot to DVR SNL and just started watching online.  Weekend Update is my favorite skit and they have a new character.  He is a Stefon who is a new (gay) correspondent which is becoming a huge favorite.

The best part is watching Seth Meyers try and keep his composure during the entire skit. 

The second half of the update is with 2 characters Garth and Kat.  If you have never seen this skit before, let me fill you in on the story line.  They are a couple who oozes sunshine out of their asses and pretend to be singer/song writers.  They are ALWAYS unprepared and just make shit up.  Kristin Wig who I FLOVE is hysterical in this.  When they break out in song, she just stares at her husbands lips to try and pick up on the lyrics he is making up and is geniously 3 seconds behind him and immitating his hand moves.

I laughed so friggin hard that I was coughing and wheezing and now my side hurts so bad, I cant move.

I am supposed to entertain in a few hours and now I am dead meat. 

Please keep the phone handy in case you need to dial 911 while watching..

Part 1:
Update.. SNL had seperated the skit and a new link.. sorry peeps.. here it is and enjoy Stefan!!


Part 2



I DIE!!!!

Amazing Gorilla Reunion

I know I know!!!  Haven't posted in a while.  Lost my taste of shnark as of lately since my allerigies are killing me.. Yes killin me like sleeping all day and doped up on vino..    A girl gotta medicate herself.. Ya know?

Anywho..  this is not a shnarky post.  This is one of those spingly tear jerkers of a video that makes you go aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  and wish you could experience this love with a huge hairy beast.  Oh wait!! I did have one of those kinds of love with my ex!!   BAZINGA!!!!
 
This video is about some dude who supports the Aspinall Foundation which is a charity that promotes wildlife conservation and reintroduces captive gorillas back into the wild in West Africa. Five years ago, conservationist Damian Aspinall (a gift from baby Jesus) released a gorilla, Kwibi, into the jungles of Gabon. Aspinall returned recently to reunite with a now ten-year-old Kwibi.

Now, I live in the Tri State area and have seen countless reports on the Chimp that unmercifully mangled a woman beyond recognition and thought this video might have a not so happy ending that I started to bite my nails and get queasy. 

Ch Ch Check out this Video and watch the gorillas eyes..  I get weepy just thinking about it..



<br>

Gargamel!!! Where have you been!!

Look at Hank Zarin below doing a great Gargamel like no one has!!!  He is perfect!!!  My kids would be proud.  What a great haeinus turd that he is with all the yuck in  life.. 

I just love him and all his madness.  I cant wait to see what evil he will zap on our blue good peeps..

I'm Just saying..

Doña Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y Silv!

Doña Maria is the current reigning Duchess of Alba and head of the House of Alba

I want to throw up a little bit and now think I look so gooood!!

I think if I had a ton of money.. the last thing I would do is plump up my lips and intentionally get frizzy hair products.. Let copulate that with a white veil and have a coke ring ontop of top lip..  Thats not "Let Get Milk" peeps..  stop thinking she is lapping up the midwife...

Ahhh.. good ol times when I was younger but didnt look like this.. even thou I was a queen in my own mind.  I had coke parties and lots of mirrored tables for all to cut on.  I was the queen of stash up you noses.  So peeps who where not invited knew they were passe of not that cool..

Sigh.. I am dating myself and now need a line..     OF A NEW DIALOGUE HERE!!

You peeps are just drug infested.. I tell ya...

I'm just saying..

P.S.  Drugs kill and I am just kidding..  If you want to have a life of sucking gum off streets and begging for burnt popcorn.. suck up the white horse you turds... life is better eating bonbons and watching soap operas you turds..

Holy CraP...

Iggy Pop is Zexzy

Holy crap.. someone tell this guy to put a shirt on..  I am feeling my face fall down and my Vadge fall into my ankles..

It aint right!!!

I'm just saying...

A Fart Blanket For The Couple

This is the best thing ever invented!!! We know of "Dutch Ovens" which my daughter had to explain to me and was aghast!!

I had no clue there was a reference to laying fanny burps under the covers and putting the covers over your partners head and having a fit of laughter to top the cherry off!! Thanks Erica and Bill!!!

Now I want to throw up..

When I am a bit gassy, I prefer to tuck the blankets all around me and just pretend that nothing is going on.

Until one night...

I had a really bad time with something I ate.  I have no idea what it was, but Mr Man always tells me that something is rotten in Denmark. 

I get his meaning..

Soo......  I was letting them loose one night and made sure my high falutin quilt was tucked all round me body and would worry about airing it out the next day...

I was watching TV and it was late, and he wanted to go to sleep and I just yelled. to just let me finish my show!!!

So he just looked at me and decided he was not going to win this fight. 

He just decided to take the covers over his head to block out the light from the TV and I inhaled deeply..

HOLY CHIT!!!

He jumped out of the bed and screamed at me!!!  Ran out of the room and got the friggin lysol..

I ran out of the room since that stuff makes my lungs squeeze tightly and he was yelling like a banshee..

I could not stop laughing and coughing and spitting due to his indignat behavior which gave me more pleasure..

Needless to say.. I have been waiting to tell this story which then at this point my daughter and her husband told me that I was doing a "Dutch Oven"   

I cannot tell you how much this gave me pleasure in knowing that I did something inknowingly that is a total recent fad.  I am cool. 

Whatch this video for peeps like me who needs to invest..  or not??  I prefer the outrage...

I'm just saying...

First Look At Marmaduke

Krike!! Is this Marmaduke who is having a bad year????

I am worried about this guy. some peeps who are too old to know we are not quite waiting for this.. We would rather have more funny than a sitcom or something else.. I want Marmaduke too jump on tables. slobber the folks and eat the Thanksgiving dinner.. This may not be a hit but it is a flashback from the past..

You younging might not know who he is so google his cartoon slides.. Its a favorite newspaper cartoon from my youngin days..

Man that was so long ago...

I feel like scooby doo on a bad night..

YIKES!!!

Drunk Man Tries To Resuscitate a Dead Possum?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704266504575142224096848264.html?mod=WSJ_WSJ_US_News_3  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/26/drunk-man-arrested-for-tr_n_515276.html

Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a dead opossum along a highway.

State police in Punxsutawney say several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday afternoon. Police arrested him along the highway, Route 36, in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

The Associated Press could not locate a home telephone number for Wolfe.

A state police news release did not specify how Wolfe was allegedly trying to revive the roadkill. The arresting trooper did not immediately return calls for comment Friday.

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/drunk_pa_man_tried_to_revive_dead_fYRQF5TfpUHx5JbseDlmEL#ixzz0jOnX03Oe

I'm Just Saying...

Burger Brawl At Whataburger

Who goes to a burger joint and expect this kind of entertainment??

If a Man doesnt get his burger.. watch out!!!

Lord have mercy!!  yeah yeah.. I say that all the time but I do have recollections of my man throwing plates of cold spaghetti through my small kitchen window staining my window curtains since he came home late from the bars.. and yes.. it was cold.. 

Men are cold and hot...

Hot.. let me strip for you and give you a lap dance..  He was hot.. but no.. I would not give him that..

Cold..  you came home late for dinner.. you could of heated up dinna... I still didnt give him that dance.

KILL ME NOW!!

This turd below is an example of my life..





I'm Just Saying...