Asians On The Slingshot Ride

Sounds Kind of Porno right? I was totally hooked when a friend sent this to me thinking I was gonna have to go power up BOB and take a long (nap).. nope.. just 2 guys on a ride from hell. Hell.. I still want to watch..



Who is screaming now bitch!!

Ima Gonna GRAPE UR ARSE!!! Of course its a subtle advertisement.. go with me peeps..

I have no issue with this ad. As long as your a freak in the dungeon typing with one hand. Yep.. you know who you are. You like grapes so bad that you cant even stand the ramifications of grapin rape!! ok watch the video..

;-)

Lost Emails.. Too FF

Genius Mudda Fudda's!!!!

Dear Noah,


We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving until 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it"

.......just saying...

Sincerely,

Google

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF

happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

I rest my case...

Hungry Exasperated Talking Dog

This poor dog.. some one call the A.S.C.P.A.    S.T.A.T!   This owner must be hung by his twigs and berries and swung around the yard for torturing this poor dog.  The facial expressions are priceless and I want to quickly rush over some chicken livers and tuna for this poor thing.

Some one throw him a fricken bone!

Penquins - The Mystery of the Grieving

Penguins

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins

on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more ! ! !


It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic

bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.


The penguin is very committed to its family and will

mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of

compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members

of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes

in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is

deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle

around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Then they kick him in the ice hole."

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

It's so easy to fool OLD people.

I am sorry, the devil made me do it!!!

I fell for it too.

It Wasn't Me.. It Was The One Armed CAT!!!

This video is sooo adorable and reminds of my beloved Simba the golden lab. He had the same guilty expression and it was impossible to scold the animal!! Now mind you Simba didn't think he was an animal and used to run away daily to sniff and pee on every stop sign, mail box and fire hydrant. Till this day I think he had some kind of super bladder made for a dog like him because he could get all the way around the block before passing out.

Poor Simba was a repeat offender and had to be bailed out almost weekly from the doggy pokie. I hope doggie heaven has all the open fields with squirrels to chase minus the pokie. He would come home tramautized for days!!

Weather Forcast... SNOOOOWWWWWWWW

Weatherman Freaking Out Over DC Snowpocalypse
by

This is exactly what is happening to me and this is exactly how I feel!!  I need more emotional weather peeps to express the same frustration as I have!!   My backyard looks like the inside of all of Hollywoods nostrils!!!!

I have plenty of milk, bread, eggs and batteries for BOB.  I feel like a wilderness gal who cant even open the doors due to snow drifts and I am afeared for the animals in the barn.  Yes, I mean the kids..  I may have to let them back into the cabin with the warm wood burning stove with my pantaloons heating up over the stove so I can have a toasty ass.  Laura Ingalls lives next door and Pa is gonna help shovel me out due to the fact that my kids are locked in the barn since they act like such animals.

I got up early today to let Riley the dog out.. He got very excited.. I opened the back door.. he went to do his bunny rabbit thing he does and stopped short of the blistering wind and knee deep snow.. he just looked at me like "How the frig and I gonna pee in that marshmallow mess?"


I laughed and said ok.. lets go out front were there is a porch and I will take one for team. So we did and then he ventured into the bushes and fell into the snow up to his hips.. He stopped.. FROZE and then squatted I think cause I couldnt see anything.. came running back inside and his eyes told me he had to do more but was afeared. I then told him lets try the back yard again.. So we did.. This time he was a bit more adverturous since his boy bits were already stuck to his hind leg in a frozen stance...

He decided to have fun in the snow and jumped around like a bunny rabbit trying to find his stinky familiar smells... but to no avail.. decided he had enough... back to the warmth of his Linus banky..

Good dog.. bad kids... I choose the dog..

The Crying Wife

http://cryingwife.com/

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a looooong time.  The brazen husband has movie night with his wife and it appears when ever she sees a happy or sad movie, she bawls like a baby for quite some time and he cant contain his laughter.  He even got the nerve to film her and prod her with questions for the ending while she is sniveling and inaudible that you yourself cant contain your laughter. 

She even cries to Star Wars and Back To The Future.  Her husband now has a library of videos capturing her insane reactions to movies.  Now, he has filmed the reaction to Marley And Me and I also bawled my eyes out on that one.  I had a golden lab which I had to put down and had to catch a flight the next morning.  Needless to say, I never slept, cried all night didnt even dress for work and got on the plane in sweats and big sunglasses.  Got off the plan went straight to my hotel to lie down and apply cold compresses to my face to reduce the swelling.  I swore I would never get another dog again since my work was unable to be sypathetic with me.  TURDS.  So I give her a pass on that movie.. 

Check out her reactions and btw.. he finds her reactions cute and adorable.. He is not such a furry rat bastid after all. 

A Good Solid Safety Rope is Essential

This is a demonstration video which clearly.. demonstrates... That you do indeed need a good solid safety Rope..  AND.. a good grip.. 



I am going to heck..

Is This Too Much Touching???

Tru Tv has a reality show - "The Principals Office" and the two boys here got into trouble at a dance for "Dirty Dancing". Now I am not sure if it was dancing with each other or girls.. but these guys are hysterical and comfortable with their feminine side. Actually the more I look at these dudes.. cougar-ville doesn't seem so vile. To think I used to condemn these woman...

Ch Ch Check it out.

Pre Valentines Day Sweet Nuttins!

For all you sappy romantic buttheads.. here is a lovely tidbit to remember prior to saying I DO!! It appears I have recognized a few of these scenarios.. Okay maybe more than a few but what a race to the finish!!! I think the finish should be death by nagging..



I'm just saying...